


One Night To Get This Thing Right

by AtowncalledMalec



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Author is a bit of an arsehole, Emotional Baggage, Eventual Fluff?, F/M, Happy Ending?, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, I'm giving nothing away, M/M, Malec, Racism, Sizzy - Freeform, Unresolved Emotional Tension, clace, details will be revealed in later chapters, don't @ me for the angst, probably won't like Robert and Maryse in this, reliving bad memeories, small town ignorance, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-11 21:44:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15981119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtowncalledMalec/pseuds/AtowncalledMalec
Summary: Magnus Bane swore to himself, when he left a year ago, that he would never step foot in his hometown of Idris again. The small town full of bigots and racist assholes was not his home any longer, not after what had happened. An important event for his best friend, Clary, However, tests that resolve. He has to be there for his friend, even if it means facing... him.Family duty calls on Alec Lightwood once again. Can he push his own pain aside to be there for his brother? even if it means facing... him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [What We Do](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/417365) by Sydney Meyer. 



> So, this was supposed to be a one-shot, but I think we all know what happens to those ideas once I get behind the keyboard of my laptop. This spiralled big time! It's Malec centric with background Clace and Sizzy.
> 
> It's based on the song, What We Do, by the lovely Sydney Meyer AKA Miss Helen Blackthorn. While that lovely song is about treasured, happy memories, this isn't, unfortunately. Hopefully, our boys can work through some tough issues, I mean, it's Malec, they always find their way back to each other, right?
> 
> Also, I changed a few things up here. Jace is a Lightwood, adopted as a baby, he didn't have 50 different families staking a claim in him so don't @ me for it (please) 
> 
> I will be posting every two or three days, time permitting. If you want to come talk to me on twitter it's, @AtowncaledMalec use the # #ONTGTTR I'd love to know what you think! ;-)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the misery and everyone go and check the song out on YouTube, we have to support our cast #SaveShadowhunters <3<3<3

 

 

  
Magnus Bane stared apprehensively up at the house, wondering why he had thought it would have changed in the year since he had set foot in it. It still had the white walls, still had the flower beds under the windows, still had the painted stone pathway that led to the front door. In fact, everything about the town of Idris was the same, he thought as he closed the car door.

He had practically grown up in this house, even if he had lived in the one next door with his old foster mom, this was the one he had spent almost every day of his childhood in. Sleepovers, parties, summer evenings on the back porch. Almost every big event in his life had happened here, he had even met the love of his life here.

But he wasn’t going there, not today, he thought as he gathered his courage to set his foot upon the path. Today wasn’t about _him_ , it wasn’t about them. He tugged at his ear cuff, trying to clear his head of the memories  _he_ invoked.

How many times had he walked up this stone pathway in his life? He wondered. Countless. The fact that the stones were still the same beneath his feet as he made his way to the front door shouldn't have surprised him. It was him that had changed, after all.

He knocked on the front door, a boulder taking the place of his stomach when he realised he felt as though he would be intruding if he walked in without knocking. A few deep breaths were all he managed to suck in before the front door swung open.

“Miss Fairchild,” Magnus said, looking up into the eyes of his best friends mother, expecting harsh words or maybe even a swing to the face. He didn’t expect to be swept into a hug.

“Magnus, you came! Oh, sweetheart, she’ll be so happy,” Jocelyn said as she swept Magnus into her arms, squeezing the life out of her surrogate son before she released him to get a good look at the boy. He might be 23 but he was still a boy to her.

“You look… amazing. This is new,” Jocelyn said, sweeping her hand across Magnus’ made up face. He looked so different but, somehow, exactly the same.

“New York will do that to you, it tends to bring out the best and the worst in people. I like to think it brought out the best in me,” Magnus said, smiling at the fact that she had accepted his look without batting an eyelid.

“New York? That’s where you’ve been hiding? Well, it looks beautiful on you. Are you back for goo…?” Jocelyn cut her question short when she saw the look on his face, realising he was just visiting. She felt a small wave of disappointment but he was here today, that was what mattered.

“Where is she?” Magnus asked, finally taking in the fact that Jocelyn was still in her nightgown and robe. His eyes zeroed in on her finger when she gestured to the stairs. “Jocelyn, what is that?” he asked, his eyes widening when he snatched her hand out of the air.

“Ah, a few things have happened over the last year, you would know that if any of us had been able to get in touch with you,” Jocelyn gently admonished.

“Old pastor Brooks refused to marry us because we had lived together for so long before we married so we eloped to Vegas. Aldertree has taken over,” Jocelyn said, both of them rolling their eyes, Aldertree wasn’t much better. “It's Mrs Garroway now.”

“So Luke finally made an honest woman out of you?” Magnus asked, laughing when she hit him upside the head. “I’m going, congratulations though, I’m so happy for you. Both of you!”

Magnus gave her another squeeze before taking the stairs two at a time. Nerves rose up again as he knocked on Clary’s bedroom door, praying to whoever would listen that he wouldn’t be kicked out the moment she saw him.

He opened the door and peeked around it when he heard a strangled “come in”. There she was, poking herself in the eye with her eyeliner when she saw him in the reflection of her mirror. She still looked the same as ever, bright red hair flying and green eyes sparkling. With tears.

“Magnus Bane, where have you been?” Clary shrieked when she saw Magnus standing in her doorway, looking nervous and fabulous and completely different yet, completely the same.

Clary dropped her eyeliner and threw herself across the room, slamming into Magnus’ arms. She let her tears fall as she inhaled the familiar sandalwood/Magnus scent that filled her nostrils, squeezing tighter when she felt his solid presence in her arms.

“Hey biscuit, did you miss me?” Magnus asked around the lump in his throat as he held her small frame to him, resting his chin on her shoulder. “Don’t make me ruin this makeup, dear, it took entirely too long to get this wing right.”

“Where have you been? I’ve been so worried, we all have. You just disappeared and all you left was a note,” Clary said, scrubbing at her eyes to be able to look at him properly. “A year, Magnus, you’ve been gone for a year. We've all been so worried, we didn’t know where you were, you just… left.”

“I had to get out of here, I couldn’t… I… Couldn’t stick around for… That,” Magnus said, a shudder running down his spine as memories swirled through his head. “But wild horses couldn’t keep me away today, not from this,” he said, shaking it off.

“But, Magnus, Alec...” Clary cut off when she saw the expression on his face, the raw hurt on his face. His pretty face!

“Clary, please, I don’t want to talk about that, today is all about you,” Magnus said, waving her off as he turned her to the mirror and pushed her down into the chair. “Now, let’s see what we can do about this face of yours, yes?”

Clary turned in her chair to look up at him, her heart breaking for the look on his face. “Magnus, he…”

“Clarissa!” Magnus interjected, cutting her words off with a look. “I can’t. Please?”

Clary stared up at her best friend, the boy who she had shared everything with, the boy who had shared every part of his life with her. She knew there was no talking to him when he used her full name. So, against her better judgement, she turned back to the mirror.

“I couldn’t get this right, can you help me? You obviously know what you’re doing,” Clary said, looking up at his face in the mirror. She liked it, the makeup and black nail polish with his usual chains and rings, the dark blue velvet suit jacket/black shirt combo and black pants, he looked good.

“Lucky for you, I’ve been studying cosmetology in New York,” Magnus said, squeezing her shoulder before he took up her makeup brushes and set to work.

“New York? You’ve been in New York this whole time?” Clary asked, opening her eyes and ignoring his tut to stare up at him. “Haven’t you bumped into…? I suppose it’s a big place,” she muttered, realising he wasn’t listening to her.

“I hope you weren’t thinking of wearing your hair like this?” Magnus asked, running his fingers through Clary’s curls with a raised eyebrow, shaking his head when she just nodded. “Nope, not happening!” he said.

Clary watched Magnus in the mirror, watched his fingers fly around her head as he started braiding her hair around her head into a crown. All she wanted to was wrap him up tight when she saw the shake of his hands. Everyone else would see his confident facade but she knew different, she could feel the tremble against her hair.

Magnus ignored the gaze he could feel burning into him, avoiding looking in the mirror. He focused on the silky hair in his hands as he pinned the ends of the braid into place. He started weaving the baby's breath Clary handed him through the braid, pretending like the shake of his hands wasn’t happening.

“It looks beautiful, Magnus, thank you,” Clary said when he stood back, staring at her reflection in the mirror. It was better than she had been expecting. She mock scowled when Magnus batted her hands away from her hair.

“Don’t even think about it,” Magnus said with a grin, brushing his own problems under the carpet when he spotted a garment bag in the reflection of the mirror. He spun on the spot, his eyes zeroing in on the bag. “You had better have done me proud, biscuit.”

“You want to see it?” Clary asked when she saw what he was looking at, unable to hold back the grin that spread over her face. She crossed the room in a flash.

Magnus took the garment bag from Clary’s hand, holding it for her as she unzipped it. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked when he saw her hands shaking on the zipper.

“Yes, I’m just so… I’ve waited so long for this day, we both have. I’m so happy that I get to share it with everyone I love,” Clary said. Almost everyone, she thought as she blinked a tear back, chastising herself for getting emotional as she looked up at him.

“Will you still be my man of honour? Simon offered, I love him but I couldn’t replace you like that. I kept hoping you would come,” Clary said as he pulled her dress out of the bag and held it up for him to inspect.

“Of course I will, why do you think I’m here?” Magnus asked, his stomach turning somersaults that she still wanted him to do it. He took the dress from her, squeezing her hand before turning to the dress.

“It’s beautiful, biscuit. The ivory will look so much better than the white with your hair and skin and these gold pearls and stitching on the cape, perfect!” Magnus said brushing his fingers over the scalloped elbow length chiffon cape that sat over the ivory A-line dress, several layers of tulle with matching pearls and beads sewn into it.

“Help me put it on?” Clary asked. She shrugged out of her robe, raising an eyebrow at the look on his face. “What?”

“I thought you would have gone for something a little more traditional, it's gorgeous, just not what I was expecting,” Magnus reassured her when he saw the frown on her face. The deep green satin of her corset complimented her perfectly.

“Please, as if I was going to go traditional, with you for my man of honour? I knew I wouldn’t hear the end of it until Thanksgiving, next year,” Clary grinned as she held onto Magnus’ shoulder to slip her ivory shoes on under the underskirt she was already wearing, Thanksgiving was only two weeks away.

“That’s my girl, now be careful of that masterpiece I just created,” Magnus chuckled, removing the cape and unzipping the dress. He gathered the dress up and pushed it on over her raised arms, letting the material fall over her underskirt before he stepped behind her and zipped up the strapless dress, grinning at the perfect fit.

Clary passed Magnus the cape as she adjusted herself. She fitted the matching pearl encrusted belt at the high waist of her dress while Magnus tied off the sheer cape at the back, taking deep breaths as it suddenly dawned on her that she was standing in her wedding dress.

“Jace is one hell of a lucky bastard!” Magnus said when he finished tying the cape off. He tugged at the beaded edge, ensuring it sat perfectly around Clary’s elbows as he stepped around her, admiring the golden pearls and beads sewn into the scallops of the gossamer ivory material.

“Hey, just breathe, remember, you love him, he loves you,” Magnus said when he saw Clary chewing her lip. He pulled her into a hug before standing back and taking her in. “you look stunning, my dear.”

“Do you think he’ll like it?” Clary asked, turning to the mirror to see the full effect. Oh. “Magnus, you’ve worked a miracle! I swear, you’re my guardian angel” she said as she stared at her reflection.

“He will love it, come on, let's go and have our ears ripped off when your mom sees,” Magnus said, chuckling when Clary laughed and slipped her hand through the crook of his elbow. He swept up her bouquet of baby's breath on the way out to lead her downstairs.

Only dogs could have heard Jocelyn’s squeal when Magnus led Clary into the kitchen to find her and Luke dressed to the nines. He relinquished his hold on Clary to her mom and stepped forward to shake hands with Luke.

“What, you’re gonna act like we just met? I practically raised you,” Luke said, knocking Magnus’ hand out of the way to pull him into a back-slapping hug. “I didn’t believe it when Jocelyne said you were back. You look good, Magnus.”

“Good? I look fabulous,” Magnus said with a grin when Luke let him free. “You don’t think the bumpkins are going to give me shi… are going to stare when they see me?” he asked, not really giving a shit what people said about his makeup and clothes. Not at all.

“Let them, they are a bunch of narrow-minded old busybodies with nothing better to do than gossip like old women,” Luke said, shaking his head at the older generation of people in their town and some of the younger ones too. “Some of them still haven’t forgiven me for moving to their “white town”,” he said with a sad shake of his head.

“Ugh, don’t remind me, I already had points against me because of the colour of my skin and shape of my eyes, never mind that I was “gay” queerphobic assho…” Magnus trailed off when he saw Jocelyn eyeing him with a raised eyebrow. “What? They are,” They couldn’t even get their facts straight. Gay, bi, you were all lumped into one in this town.

“Language, Magnus,” Jocelyn admonished, laughing at the look of contrition on his face, and the look of defiance warring with it. “You’re right though. But who cares what they think? You look fantastic. New York suits you,” she chuckled.

“He does, doesn't he? Good job we kept an extra tie,” Clary said, scooping a gold tie from the kitchen drawer and handing it to Magnus. She glared at him until he put it on. “It looks wonderful with the blue jacket,” she assured him when she saw the apprehensive look on his face.

“Thanks, biscuit. So, I might have brought a surprise with me,” Magnus said when he glanced at the clock, seeing it was almost time for them to leave for the ceremony. He grinned at the looks of surprise on their faces, beckoning for the trio to follow him.

“Where are we going?” Clary asked, looking to her mom and dad to see her own mystified expression mirrored on their faces. She let Magnus tug her through the front door, squealing when she saw the car he had arrived in.

“I couldn’t let you go to your own wedding in Luke’s cruiser, god knows there are no decent car hire places around here,” Magnus said with a grin, his breath huffing out of him when Clary slammed into him. “You like it?”

“Magnus, I love it!” Clary said, dragging him towards the 63 Rolls Royce Phantom. She executed a graceful curtsey with a laugh when Magnus held the door open for her, both of them scooping up the skirts of her dress so she could climb in the back.

“Jocelyn, would you like to ride up front with me?” Magnus asked, offering her his arm while Luke inspected every inch of the car. “Don’t take too long, Luke. I know it’s tradition for the bride to be a little late but, time stands still for no man,” he said as he helped Jocelyn sweep her gold dress up to get into the passenger seat.

“Sorry, I’m coming,” Luke said, climbing into the back of the car and taking Clary’s hand. “You okay kiddo?” he whispered, squeezing her hand.

“Yeah, it's just weird to think in an hour, I’ll be Clary Lightwood. Thanks for giving me away, Luke,” Clary said, squeezing back just as tight.

“I wouldn’t allow anyone else the honour,” Luke said, looking out of the window as they set off, nobody needed to see his tears.

Magnus was quiet as he drove through the town he had grown up in, trying to avoid looking at the streets as memories threatened to rear up again. He concentrated on his grip on the steering wheel and the ten foot of road in front of the car.

“Do you think I’ll spontaneously combust if I step foot inside?” Magnus joked, looking up at the church they had arrived at as he helped Clary out of the car. It looked exactly the same as it had a year ago. The crowd he could hear inside did nothing to help his nerves.

“Ignore them, Magnus, if one person says a thing they’re gone, okay?” Clary said, cupping Magnus’ face and looking into his amber brown eyes, how she had missed this boy! “you point them out and they are out of there.”

“I know, I’m just nervous. In New York, You’re free to be who you want, with no one to stare at you and judge your appearance. Not like here” Magnus said with a grin.

“Mhm, you forget who you’re talking to, Magnus,” Clary said as she watched him. He could hide nothing from her, no matter what kind of expression he pulled on his face. “I think there’s one person, in particular, you’re worried about seeing, isn't there?” she asked.

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Magnus bluffed, pulling her towards the church.

“He won't be here, Magnus,” Clary said, tugging at his hand as they made it to the front door. “You aren’t the only one who ran.”

“Come on Magnus, You can escort me to my seat,” Jocelyn said, completely unaware of the conversation he was having with her daughter.

“What do you mean?” Magnus asked over his shoulder as Jocelyn pulled him through the doors. His window of opportunity disappeared when he was pulled inside and Clary and Luke were lost from his view.

Magnus barely had a minute to prepare himself before he was pulled through the second set of doors, to prepare himself to face the people he had grown up with. To prepare himself to see Alec.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of Alec's story and some hard conversations here. Still not giving anything away (hides eyes)

  
Alec Lightwood sat on the porch of his brother’s house, glancing at his watch as nerves rolled through his stomach. Jace would be back from his morning run any minute. Even on a day like this, he knew Jace would be out jogging.

He looked up and down the street, pushing away the memories of the last time he had sat on this porch. Don’t go there, he told himself. He climbed to his feet when he saw Jace running up the road, staring at his car. He saw the moment Jace looked at him before halting in his tracks.

“Hey Jace,” Alec said when his brother came up the path, gaping open-mouthed at him, his sweaty blonde hair blowing in the breeze. He couldn’t help the nervous shuffle of his feet or the way he repeatedly twisted the ring on his finger where his hands were clasped behind his back.

“I don’t know whether to hug you or punch you,” Jace said, brushing his hand over his face as his chest heaved, from his run and the emotions that shot through him at seeing his brother. He took in Alec’s tux and the guilty expression on his face and settled for the former.

Alec sank into Jace’s hug, fighting his tears back as Jace slapped at his back. Clearing his throat, he looked down at Jace’s face, seeing his emotions plain on his face. “You’re nervous.”

“Of course I’m not, I’m Jace Lightwood, life is good,” Jace replied to his brother’s statement with a nervous chuckle. “Come on, prepare yourself for Izzy, she, Simon and Max stayed here last night,” he said, pulling Alec towards the house.

Alec followed Jace into the quiet house, glancing around and seeing Clary’s touch everywhere with the colourful cushions and rugs and artwork in Jace’s otherwise bachelor pad home.

“So Clary has moved in then, I’ll bet the neighbours just loved that,” Alec said bitterly, scowling at the thought of the town full of conservative assholes he had grown up with and what they would have to say about two people that weren’t married moving in together.

“Not everyone gives a shit about what other people think about them,” Jace said as he pulled a jug full of smoothie from the fridge and a couple of glasses from the drainer before looking up. “Alec, I’m sorry… I… That wasn’t fair of me.”

“It’s fine, I’m sure I’ll get worse off mom. And Izzy,” Alec said, hearing noises come from upstairs. He accepted the green mush in the glass that Jace handed him with absolutely no intention of drinking it, putting it down and flicking the coffee pot on instead.

“Brother, you are not ready for mom. Unfortunately, that sounds like Izzy now,” Jace said, pulling a stool from beneath the Island to get a prime position for the display Izzy would put on when she saw Alec.

“If you’re going to get up at this ungodly hour, you could at least let the rest of us get our beauty…” Izzy froze when she saw her brothers in the kitchen. Both of them. Alec was standing there, plain as the nose on her face. He was back! was her first thought.

“Alec…” Izzy breathed, sucking in air to holler. “A year! A fucking year you’ve been gone and you just waltz in here like its nothing? A fucking year! And barely even a text or a phone call to say that you were alive!” she shouted, dashing her hand angrily across her face as her tears fell.

“What the hell did I have to stick around for? He left me! There was nothing left for me here,” Alec said, fighting his own angry tears, anger that was directed at himself. He hadn’t meant to yell.

“For us! We’re your family. Were we not enough?” Izzy yelled right back, staring at her brother as his words cut through her.

“Izzy, I… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I needed to get myself together after what I did. I… I couldn’t do that here, he’s everywhere,” Alec said, forcing himself not to think of _him_. He almost raised his arms to defend himself when Izzy approached him. He stared at Jace over her head when she fell into his arms.

“I’m sorry, I know you did. I just missed you,” Izzy said through her tears as she clung to her brother, a choked sob escaping her when Alec’s arms came around her shoulders. She barely managed not to snot all over his suit. “You couldn’t have called? Or text?” she asked.

“What was I supposed to say? Sorry I ran away?” Alec asked, stroking his fingers through Izzy’s hair to soothe her, the way he had when they were kids. “How are mom and dad?” He didn’t really care but thought he should ask anyway.

“Still mad at you, they don’t talk about you, to be honest,” Jace said, scratching at the back of his head. “Well, mom doesn’t. Dad is okay, he just goes along with what she says,” he said apologetically.

“Listen, I can leave if its too much. I don’t want to cause trouble today,” Alec said, looking from Jace to Izzy and back again. “It's your day, I don’t want to ruin it,” he said to his brother.

“Don’t even think about it. I need you there. They’re on thin ice anyway, they’ll just have to suck it up,” Jace said, pushing his stool back to pull Alec and Izzy into a hug. “Three go in, three come out. We’ll face them together, the three of us.”

“After the shit they pulled, they’re lucky we’re speaking to them at all. They’ll just have to deal with it,” Izzy said, cutting Alec’s apologies off with a wave of her hand when he opened his mouth to speak. “Don’t, you did nothing wrong, it’s their own fault. We are talking to them again for Max’s sake.”

“Thank’s guys,” Alec said through the lump in his throat, he had never meant for them to fall out with their parents too. He looked up when he heard a strangled squeak, his stomach dropping through the floor when he saw Izzy's fiance, Simon, carrying his littlest brother, Max, piggyback, into the kitchen.

“Alec! You’re back!” Max shouted, wriggling down off Simon’s back to run at his brother. He threw himself around Alec’s neck when his big brother knelt down with his arms wide open.

“Maxie, I missed you the most,” Alec said, wrapping his arms around his little brother. The pit in his stomach opened a little wider when he felt the shake of Max’s body in his arms. He swept Max up and stood, letting his brother cry it out.

“Why did you leave?” Max sniffled into Alec’s neck. He peeked up to look at Alec, maybe someone would finally tell him why Alec had left, nobody would talk to him about it but Alec had never treated him like a kid.

“I was sad, Maxie. When M-Magnus left I was sad and I needed to leave, to be on my own for a little bit. It was too hard to be here without him,” Alec said, deciding his brother needed... deserved to hear the truth. Max hated when he was treat like a kid.

“But you had other friends. You could have just hung out with them,” Max said, not really understanding why Magnus leaving meant Alec had to too.

“But I loved Magnus more than my other friends, he was special to me,” Alec said through the lump in his throat, seeing the confusion plain on Max’s face.

“Did you love him like Simon loves Izzy or like Jace loves Clary?” Max asked, staring into his brother’s big hazel eyes. Alec looked like he was still sad, he thought to himself.

“Yes,” Alec said, letting the word out with a deep breath. He looked up when he heard several sharp inhalations of breath, to see everyone watching them, shocked expressions on their faces.

“Is that why mom and dad don’t speak about you anymore? Because you love a boy and not a girl?” Max asked, looking around at all the adults too before his gaze landed back on Alec.

“That’s a little bit more… complicated. I… it’s not that…” Alec didn’t really know how to answer the question. He smiled gratefully when Simon took Max from him.

“It’s great to see you man,” Simon said, pulling Alec into a one-armed hug before turning to Max. “why don't we get some breakfast?” he asked, smiling when Max rolled his eyes. He took the cereal, milk and bowl that Jace handed him and took Max through to the living room.

“So, you’re willing to admit it to others? To admit it to yourself?” Izzy asked as she sank into a stool at the island next to Jace. “I guess New York changed you.”

“You know admitting it to myself was never the problem, Iz. It’s different there,” Alec said, shrugging his suit jacket off and hanging it on the back of the chair he sank into. “Nobody cares whether you’re gay or not. You don’t have everyone breathing down your neck, telling you it’s wrong, that you are wrong or disgusting for being who you are.”

“It’s easier to accept yourself when others accept you,” Alec said, taking the coffee that Jace got up and poured him. He didn’t miss the expression on Izzy’s face. “I know you all accepted me, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m talking about this town, these people. They act all... all…”

“Unchristian? Bigoted? Racist? Like complete and utter assholes? Like Stepford drones?” Jace asked as he passed Izzy a cup of coffee and took a seat

“Like life is a competition to be better than everyone else? I could go on,” Jace said, rolling his eyes at the people that made up the town of Idris, they were like sheep, following each other along, too scared to step out on their own and be different.

“Yes, all of the above. There’s none of the fear in New York. Don’t get me wrong, there are homophobes wherever you go but it’s not so bad there. People there are mostly too busy getting on with their own lives to poke their noses into other peoples,” Alec said.

“Well, you still could have stayed, you didn’t have to run off. We could have helped you,” Izzy said stubbornly, knowing she was being petulant but unable to help herself, she had missed him too much.

“Iz, you know what kind of life I was facing if I’d stayed, I was too scared. Is that what you would have wanted for me?” Alec asked, giving Izzy a tight smile when she shook her head. He almost fell off his chair when she suddenly shrieked.

“Look at the time! and you only have two showers and I’ve got to dry all this hair and we are going to be late and…” Izzy cut off when Jace threw a hand over her mouth.

“We have plenty of time, just breathe Iz,” Jace said, letting go of his sister’s mouth. He nodded his encouragement when she took a few deep breaths. “Go and get your shower and breathe while you’re in there,” he said with a chuckle.

“What about you? You’re more important than me, it’s your day,” Izzy said, getting to her feet even as she said the words.

“Alec, get your phone out and record this quick,” Jace said, holding the back of his hand to his head with a grin. “Isabelle Sophia Lightwood just said someone is more important than her,” he chuckled, darting out the way of her elbow.

“Shut up, I’ll take longer now and you can stink all day,” Izzy said, glaring at her brothers when they laughed at her. Her glare lasted for all of two seconds before she pulled them both into a neck-breaking hug. “I’ve missed this,” she mumbled before shoving them both away and skipping off for her shower.

“So, are you still going to be my best man?” Jace asked, watching Alec scoop their cups up to put in the dishwasher.

“Do you still want me to?” Alec asked, pushing the door closed and turning to look at Jace. “I know I haven’t been in contact but I was kind of hoping you would,” he said, tugging at his shirt self consciously.

“Of course I do, I never asked anyone else,” Jace said, grinning when Alec let out a relieved sigh. He jumped up and pulled Alec into a back-slapping hug again before he pulled the ring box out of his pocket, handing it to Alec. “I would never ask anyone else to be my best man.”

“Is he… is… M-Magnus still going?” Alec asked, having to force himself to say it, to say his name as he fiddled with the box in his hand. He put the box into the inside pocket of his jacket before turning back to Jace. “Is he still going to be Clary’s man of honour?”

“No, nobody has heard from him. We don’t know where he is,” Jace said, squeezing Alec’s shoulder when he saw the pained look on his brothers face. “You aren’t the only one who has been silent over the last year,” he admonished.

Alec felt guilt well up again before Jace winked at him. He punched his brother in the arm before shoving him in the direction of the door. “Go on, I want to see you in your suit.”

“Yeah yeah, I’m going. Make sure you put this on though, Clary will kill me if you don’t match everyone else,” Jace said, taking the tie he had kept for Alec, just in case, from the junk drawer and throwing it at him. “I’ll leave it as a surprise, she’ll freak when she sees you.”

“Get out of here,” Alec chuckled as he looked down at the gold tie in his hands. He pulled his bowtie off and replaced it with the gold tie, forcing himself not to think about Magnus teaching him how to tie them when they were kids. Nope, he wasn’t thinking of that. At all.

Alec wandered into the living room to find Max on what looked like his second but was probably closer to his third bowl of cereal, missing his mouth as he stared slack-jawed at the tv. “Maxie, go and get your shower,” he said, snapping the tv off.

“Hey! I was watching that,” Max protested with a glare for his big brother. “Hey! I’m eating that,” he yelped, trying to dig his spoon into the bowl Alec was taking away, for one last bite.

“Mhm, and is this your fifth or sixth bowl?” Alec asked, taking the spoon as well. He looked up to see Simon signalling three with his fingers behind Max’s back. “Go and get a shower, you’ve had enough,” he said with a stern look at his little brother.

“Fiiiiine but when I die of starvation it will be your fault,” Max huffed, rolling his eyes at the arched eyebrow Alec aimed at him. He sloped off for the stairs, dragging his feet the entire way.

“Be quick about it and you can ride to the church with me,” Alec called after Max, grinning when he heard a whoop and little feet running up the stairs. “So tell me why we are all wearing gold again?” he asked Simon.

“Because Clary says we have to and she and Izzy turned into bridezillas over this wedding?” Simon said with a chuckle as he got to his feet. “No, it was something to do with it being a fall wedding and Clary’s colouring? Whatever that is supposed to mean,” he said with a shrug.

“How are you, Alec?” Simon asked, taking the bowl from his hands and taking it into the kitchen, seeing Alec follow. “You put a brave face on but I see you,” he said, taking in the hunch of Alec’s shoulders.

“To be honest, I just want to get it over with and get out of here,” Alec said with a sigh, scrubbing his hands through his hair. “Spending the day with these people is not my idea of fun. I just don’t want to ruin Jace and Clary’s day if...  _they_ start anything that I’ll have to finish.”

“I can’t say I blame you. But we’re here for you,” Simon said, patting Alec on the shoulder when he saw the stress on his face. “And you aren’t ruining anything, I don’t think they’re even going. Everyone will be happy to see you,” he said, knowing it was a bare-faced lie but telling it anyway.

“Yeah, I’m sure the entire town along with mom and dad will be thrill…” Alec cut off when he heard the front door go. His stomach fell through the floor when he heard his mom calling out. He stared at Simon, almost bolting for the back door before Simon stopped him.  
  
“You’re going to have to talk to them at some point,” Simon said, scrapping his plan to join Izzy in the shower, Alec needed him more. “Come on, let’s get it over with, it’s better to face off with Maryse here than at the church with an audience,” he said, squeezing Alec’s arm once more.

Alec took several deep breaths before mentally pulling his big boy panties on to deal with his parents. His stomach churned, half nerves, half anger when he entered the living room to see his mom staring at him.

“Alec, what are you doing here?” Maryse breathed, almost sagging onto the chair behind her as she stared at her son.

“Hello mother, you look lovely,” Alec said, reminding himself that this was Jace and Clary’s day as he forced himself to be civil, taking in the pewter coloured dress she was wearing. He looked up to see her nostrils flaring, never a good sign. “I couldn’t miss today, I’m here for Jace.”

“You couldn’t miss today?” Maryse asked, incredulity turning her tone acidic as she almost hissed the words out. “You couldn’t miss today? You embarrass our family and leave us to deal with the fallout but you couldn’t miss today?” she asked, her voice rising with every syllable.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that,” Alec said, not sorry in the slightest but still trying for civility. “But I couldn’t stay,” Alec said, a scowl of defiance flitting over his face under his mother’s withering glare.

“You need to leave before anyone sees you,” Maryse said, turning away from Alec and staring out of the window as she fought to control herself, still reeling from seeing her eldest son after a year.

“He isn’t going anywhere. He is a part of this family and he is my best man,” Jace said, staring at his mom when he strode into the living room, furious at the words he had heard come from her mouth, just in time for their dad to push through the front door.

“And you can hear this too,” Jace said to Robert when his gaze narrowed on Alec. “what happened a year ago is not to be mentioned today. This is mine and Clary’s day and I won’t have any of you ruining it, do I make myself clear?”

“Alec is my brother and I want him there so keep your opinions to yourself,” Jace said, looking his mom in the eye when she started to protest. “I don’t care what has happened in the past, this isn’t about any of you, today is about Clary.”

Alec stared at his brother, wondering just how wide the rift between his family had become in his absence. Jace had never spoken to her like that before, to either of his parents. Jace had always stood up for himself but still, he had never used that tone before, that was more of Izzy’s style. He stared harder at his mom when she backed down.

“I apologise,” Maryse said to Jace, ignoring Alec completely. Civil might be a stretch, maybe if she just pretended like he wasn’t there she could get through the rest of the day.

“We would never want to ruin your day, Jace,” Robert said, avoiding Alec’s gaze as he looked around the room, his eyes lighting on Izzy. “you look lovely,” he said when he saw the pale gold dress his daughter was wearing.

“Neither of you apologised to Alec,” Izzy said, staring at her parents when they refused to look at Alec, her eyes narrowing at them, acting like Alec was at fault when it was all on them. “I said neither of you…”

“Izzy, it’s fine, I don’t expect them to,” Alec interjected. Expecting them to apologise was like expecting the tooth fairy to roll up with a bag of cash and letting you keep all your teeth, neither of them thought they had done anything wrong.

“It is not fine, they don’t get to speak to you like that, it was their fault,” Izzy said. “They don’t get to cause this then get mad at you, they should apologise,” she said, aiming a death glare at her parents, both of them staring at her with incredulity shining in their eyes.

“Enough, this is not up for discussion,” Jace said, cutting his mother’s protest off. “If none of you can be civil then you can all stay here and Clary and I will get married without you. Now, someone fix my tie,” he said, turning to Alec and holding it out.

“Jace, I’m so sorry,” Alec whispered as he tugged his brother’s collar up and set the tie around his neck. He looked into Jace’s mismatched eyes, trying to convey how sorry he was with his gaze.

“You have nothing to apologise for, Izzy’s right, it’s their fault,” Jace said, nodding his encouragement. “You did what you had to, we don’t blame you for that,” he said reassuringly. He gripped Alec’s arm when his brother pushed the tie into place and tucked his collar down.

“Simon, you haven’t showered yet, hurry up,” Izzy said, still glaring at her mom. She tilted her chin up to accept Simon’s peck on her cheek before he hot-footed it out of the room. She stared for a moment more, giving up when her mom refused to look at her too.

Alec gladly held his arms out for his sister when she folded herself into his embrace, thanking her with a hard squeeze. He looked down when he felt a tug at his pants to see Max staring up at him. Shit, he hadn’t even realised Max was there.

“Hey buddy, need help with your tie?” Alec asked, trying to stem the steady flow of guilt welling up in him with a lighthearted smile for his brother.

“You were fighting,” Max stated, glaring around and daring any of them to brush him off. None of them took the hint.

“It’s nothing, silly adult stuff,” Alec said, pulling a better smile on his face as he bent down to fix Max’s tie, his long fingers making short work of the material.

“I’m nine, not four,” Max said as he endured Alec’s ministrations, wondering why they always said “it’s adult stuff” like he was an idiot.

“Come on, Max, grab your jacket,” Robert said, holding his hand out for Max to take. “We will meet you all at the church,” He said to Jace, avoiding the gazes of his other children.

“Max can come with us, I wanted the four of us to arrive together,” Jace said, preempting Max’s protests. He thanked his dad with a nod when Robert pulled Maryse to the front door, praying she would go quietly. As if any of them were that lucky.

“You will apologise to everyone you hurt today,” Maryse said to Alec as she reached the front door, frowning at the look of defiance on his face, arching his brow at her.

“Mom, enough,” Jace said, looking to his dad when she glared at him, watching as Robert tugged her through the door. He let a sigh of relief out, along with everyone else, when the door slammed behind their parents.

“Jace… I’m so sorry, I don’t know where to start...” Alec said, looking from Jace to Izzy to Simon who had just walked back into the room. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” he said, frustration at his parent's attitude welling up.

“You can start by not apologising,” Izzy said, taking Alec’s hands in her own. “You aren’t apologising to anyone, you’ve done nothing wrong,” she said, smiling when everyone else agreed with her, even Max.

“Um, guys, if we don’t leave soon, Clary will have all of our parts,” Simon said as he shoved his feet into his dress shoes. He watched his words sink into the siblings before all of them started rushing for jackets and shoes.

“We can go in my car,” Alec said, snatching Max up under his arm and leading the way. He shook his head when they all stared at his escalade. He practically threw Max into the back seat when they reached it.

“Alec, what have you been doing in New York?” Izzy asked when Simon boosted her into the car. Of course her tree of a brother would buy a car that she needed a step ladder to get into. None of them were poor but none of them drove around in anything so... so… expensive.

“Exactly what I was trained for. It might only be a couple of hour’s drive away but Real estate commands a high price in New York, it pays well” Alec said when they were all in and buckled up.

“At least when mom and dad groomed me to take over the family business, they gave me a career I could pursue,” Alec said, starting up the car and pulling out. It might not the most exciting job but at least it paid well enough to let him live comfortably, even if he was miserable.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe some memories will answer a few questions... or maybe they'll just raise more?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I am not religious at all, so this is me apologising to any Christians reading if I've mashed up your wedding customs, I did as much research as I could, I hope I got it right.

 

  
Alec was on autopilot as he drove through the town, driving the streets he’d driven a thousand times before. He didn’t need the satnav to find the church but let it blare out any way to distract himself.

He wasn’t seeing the store that they used to buy their ice creams from. He wasn’t seeing the field where  _he_ had attempted his one and only try at baseball. He definitely wasn’t seeing their tree at the park that they had had their first kiss under. He wasn’t thinking of Magnus. At all.

“You okay? There’s nothing to be nervous about, just ignore the townsfolk” Jace said, watching Alec from the passenger seat, seeing the white knuckles that gripped the steering wheel.

“I think we all know that’s a lie, one look at me and the villagers will be getting their pitchforks out,” Alec said with a tight smile as he turned the final corner, choosing not to correct Jace’s assumption. “It should be me asking you that anyway.”

“What do I have to be nervous about? I’m marrying the love of my life,” Jace said, his tone nonchalant but his stomach twisting, half nerves half excitement.

Alec chuckled, of course his brother would pull that confidence out of his ass along with his words. Jace might have that cocky grin plastered on his face but he didn’t miss the shake of his brother’s hands.

“Are you ready?” Alec asked as he parked up in the packed parking lot of the church, watching his brother for any signs of second thoughts. Not that he expected any, Jace and Clary had been gone on each other since first grade. Just like him and…

“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life,” Jace said, the truth of the words winning out over his nerves. He threw the door open and hopped down from the car, opening Izzy’s door to help her out of the car.

“You look so handsome, Clary is a lucky girl,” Izzy said, straightening Jace’s tie and collar when he put her down. She adjusted the cape Clary had made her wear, not totally hating it, as they all walked into the church.

Of course half of the town is here, Alec thought as he towed Max along, following Jace, Simon, and Izzy into the church, finding the place packed. He couldn’t stop himself from sweeping the room, feeling every gaze bore into him like a hundred red hot pokers.

Alec pulled his best scowl on, waiting for his stomach to completely fall out of his asshole as he walked up the aisle. Maybe it was the fact that he had spent the last year of his life away from them or the fact that these people meant nothing to him anymore but he found that he could breathe.

Izzy glanced over her shoulder, seeing Alec’s head rise in defiance of the whisper that had spread through the church at his reappearance. She felt pride in her big brother rise up as he glared around at them all. There he was, the boy that snarled at the world to hide his feelings.

Alec handed Max off to Izzy, watching as she and Simon sat down next to their dad, ignoring their parents and focusing on Max. Guilt reared up again, his intention had been to be here for Jace, not drive a wedge through his family. He shook his head, joining Jace at the altar.

“What if I’m not a good husband?” Jace asked, staring at his fingernails so he didn’t have to look at Alec, so that his brother wouldn’t see the self-doubt that had unexpectedly reared up.

“Do you love Clary?” Alec asked, smiling when Jace’s head shot up, an incredulous look on his face. “Would you do anything to make her happy, to protect her? Would you burn the world down for her?” He asked.

“Of course, she’s my life,” Jace said, every feeling he had for Clary rising up all at once and constricting his chest. “You guys are the best family an abandoned baby could have hoped to be adopted into but she’s my future, the family I’ll make for myself,” he said.

“Then how could you be a bad husband?” Alec asked, one eyebrow arched as it took a moment for Jace to come to the realisation that his love for her wouldn’t let him fail. He grinned when that cocky grin replaced the momentary expression of self-doubt.

“You don’t fail, Jace, you’re not about to start now,” Alec said. He looked up, along with the entire congregation, when the doors at the back of the church opened. The half step forward he took when he saw who had entered, was almost instinctual.

All the air seemed to disappear, straining Alec’s lungs when he saw Magnus escorting Jocelyn into the church. He thought it odd, how he could still hear every beat of his heart crash through his head over the swell of the organ that started up at their appearance.

Beautiful.

All Alec could think of was how beautiful Magnus looked, forgetting that he wasn’t supposed to think about him like that anymore, that he was supposed to hate him when he saw Magnus staring right back at him. He had gotten good at telling himself that lie. His heart swelled and cracked just that little bit further with every halting step Magnus took towards him.

What a joke, Magnus thought, silently chastising himself as he stared at Alec. As if anything could have prepared him for seeing that face again, that familiar face that he could draw in the dark, even after a year of not seeing it. He ignored the whispers and the tuts that had started up as he stared, unable to look away from Alec to glare at the congregation.

That year didn’t negate the eighteen that had come before it, Magnus realised as his feet turned to lead. He had to force one foot in front of the other to walk towards him. Alec looked exactly the same, standing there on the balls of his feet, hands clasped behind his back in that familiar stance.

“Are you okay, Alec?” Jace asked when he saw Magnus, knowing his own shock must be nothing compared to what Alec was feeling. He almost pulled Alec into a hug when he saw the pain on Alec’s face, the pain that he couldn’t hide, no matter how much he was trying.

“Ye... yeah, I’m fine,” Alec said, having to clear his throat to grit the words out. He stared at Magnus, unable to help himself, even when his brain screamed at him to look away. The makeup Magnus was wearing looked much better than the one and only time he had attempted it when they were kids.

He looked stunning, Alec realised, remembering the way Magnus had scrubbed the makeup off his face when they were 17, saying he looked ridiculous, a blatant lie to hide his nerves at almost being caught wearing it by Clary and Izzy. As if either of them would have judged him. He remembered taking that face in his hands...

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Jocelyn asked, slowing her walk when Magnus almost tugged her back. The expression on Magnus’ face, the look of pain that was reflected on Alec’s face confirmed what she had known all along, that there was more to their relationship than they were willing to let others see. A blind man could interpret the look they shared.

“I’m fine Jocelyne, it’s just strange to be back, that’s all,” Magnus said, almost wincing at the huskiness of his tone as he told the lie. He forced himself to move forward at a steady pace, unable to look away from Alec, even if it was all he wanted to do.

Magnus could make out more details, the closer he got. Alec had cut his hair since he’d last seen him or styled it. It no longer flopped in his face but was swept up off his face, exposing his forehead and brows. The tiny scar stood out from the perfect arch, the scar he had received from falling off the swingset at the park when they were 8, the blood sending them both into a panic as he had mopped it up with his shirt.

Magnus was snapped out of his reverie by Jocelyn releasing his arm, pulling his eyes away from Alec’s. She smiled at him as she sat, leaving him only one thing to do, take his place at the altar and wait for Clary’s entrance. He trained his gaze on the door, forcing himself not to look at Alec.

Alec felt his gut wrench when Magnus looked away, his hands tightening around one another as he tugged at the ring on his finger almost convulsively. He pulled his best smile on for Jace and the other hundred people in the room and forced himself not to look at Magnus either, even if he stood less than 5 feet away.

Jace looked up from his feet when the front door opened again, his gaze unerringly landing on his bride. He could barely draw breath when he saw her, saw how beautiful she looked. She always looked beautiful to him but today she was stunning. He waited with bated breath for her to join him, seeing nothing but Clary.

Clary thanked god for waterproof mascara when she saw Jace watching her, her stomach clenching at how handsome he looked in his tux and gold tie. Her tears fell harder when she saw Alec standing next to him. Both of them had come, now she truly got to share her day with all the people she loved.

“Thank you, dad,” Clary said, kissing Luke on the cheek when they reached the altar and Luke pressed her hand into Jace’s. She blinked her tears back to look up at the only man who had ever been a father to her.

“You’re welcome, kiddo,” Luke said gruffly, clearing his throat to turn to Jace, clasping Clary and Jace’s joined hands in his. “You’ll look after my daughter, won’t you, Jace?” Luke said, knowing there was no need for threats, Jace had been looking out for Clary since they were kids.

“Yes sir, with everything I have,” Jace said, putting his cocky persona away to look Luke in the eye. “She’s everything to me, I won’t let you down,” he said solemnly. He let out a deep breath when Luke squeezed their hands before taking a seat next to Jocelyn, both of them smiling ear to ear.

“I’m so happy you’re here, Alec,” Clary said, grinning at her soon to be brother-in-law, even if he did look like it was taking everything he had to stand there. She smiled up at him when he reached out and squeezed her arm.

“I wasn’t going to miss this for anything, Fairchild,” Alec said, keeping his gaze trained on Clary and forcing himself to turn to the pastor Aldertree when Clary and Jace stepped forward. He could get through this, as long as he kept his eyes forward.

“I didn’t think he would come,” Clary whispered to Magnus when she turned to him and handed her bouquet to him. She shook her head when she saw the confused look on his face as his eyes darted to Alec for a millisecond before landing on her again.

Magnus took Clary’s bouquet, wondering what she meant. Why wouldn’t Alec be there? He refused to let his gaze wander to Alec’s family, refusing to search for… he couldn’t, he couldn’t deal with that so he turned to the pastor, almost flipping him off at the look of disdain on Aldertree’s face.

Alec blocked out Aldertree’s words, he had heard enough pontifications on how the Lord loved all his children equally, as a child. As long as you fit the box, you were loved the same as everyone else. He fiddled with the ring on his finger, definitely not thinking of the day he and Magnus had secured their place amongst the fire and brimstone when they were 17. Or all the times after.

Magnus couldn’t help his eyes flicking to Alec, wondering what had put that blush on his face. If he had to guess, it would be memories of the nights they had lay wrapped up in one another’s arms at “sleepover’s”, those memories never failed to make that beautiful skin glow. He fought and failed to banish memories of his own.

Alec was so caught up in memories of the scent of Magnus’ skin, the texture of it under the pads of his fingers and the taste on his tongue that he completely missed when everyone turned to him. He stared blankly at Jace, silently asking what they all wanted.

“Alec, please tell me you brought the rings?” Jace muttered desperately under his breath, positive he had seen Alec putting the box in his pocket. He watched the look of comprehension dawn on his brother's bright red face before Alec started patting himself down. Fuck, he thought, the action had him sweating.

“Of course I did,” Alec said, sure his flaming face and thundering heartbeat could be seen and heard at the back of the church as he shoved his hand into the inside pocket of his jacket, wrapping his fingers around the black velvet box and pulling it out.

Magnus had thought that he was prepared to see it, had thought he was ready for the hand that wrapped around his throat at the sight of the wedding band glinting on Alec’s ring finger. He almost shredded the bouquet he was clutching like a raft in the middle of the ocean of devastation he had just been plunged into.

Nothing had prepared Magnus for it. He fought back the tears trying to choke him, staring at his shoes as he pulled air into his straining lungs. He trained his gaze on Clary when he had gotten himself together, focusing on her vows instead of the empty space his heart had occupied.

Clary looked up into Jace’s eyes as she pushed his ring onto his finger, marvelling at the fact that she loved him more now than when she had first laid eyes on him. She cleared her throat, wanting a clear voice for the words she had waited so long to say;

“I, Clarissa Fairchild, do take you, Jonathan Christopher Lightwood, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow.”

Jace took Clary’s ring from the bible Aldertree held open to him and placed it on Clary’s finger, grinning around the lump in his throat, already knowing he would choke the words out as he pushed it into place. He looked up into her sparkling green eyes to say the words that would make her his;

“I, Jonathan Christopher Lightwood, do take you, Clarissa Fairchild, to be my wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow.”

Even Alec smiled when Aldertree pronounced his brother and new sister as husband and wife, genuinely happy for them. He glanced over their heads when Jace dipped Clary and kissed her like his life depended on it, to see the same bittersweet smile on Magnus’ face. Until he looked up.

As happy as Magnus was for Clary and Jace, joining in with the tumultuous applause that rang through the church, Alec’s eyes, when he looked up, reminded him just how hard for him today was. He could only thank whoever would listen when Alec stopped clapping and went back to his usual stance, hands behind his back.

“Alec,” Magnus said when he and Alec followed Clary and Jace down the aisle, unable to produce anything else as he trained his gaze on his goal, the door.

“Magnus… I…” Alec cut off at the almost imperceptible shake of Magnus’ head, feeling like Magnus had punched him in the gut at the use of the word “Alec” and not Alexander.

Alec would jab anyone else in the throat if they called him that but he found that he had missed the word spoken in that soft voice, even if he was still mad at him.

It was always easier to blame someone else than take responsibility for your own actions.

Magnus cut Alec off with a raised hand when he tried again, pushing out into the fresh air behind Clary and Jace. He tossed the rental car's keys to Luke before spinning on the spot, planning to cut through the park to get to the reception at the one and only hotel in their stupid town.

“Magnus, wait. Don’t just run again,” Alec said, yanking his hand back from Magnus’ arm when Magnus turned on him. The look on his face was worse than the way he had said "Alec". He watched Magnus go, taking off through the park, as his gut twisted.

“Come on big brother, we have to go,” Izzy said, pulling Alec towards his car. She wanted to shake him, to shake him and Magnus both when she saw the look on his face, he couldn’t hide the hurt stamped all over it.

“He wouldn’t even listen,” Alec said, looking down at his sister, seeing the pity on her face. Maybe he had nothing to say for himself, just like last time, no excuses for the way he had acted. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

Alec climbed into the Escalade, staring down at the ring on his finger as everyone else climbed in and buckled up, everyone talking in an excited babble that washed over him. What was there to be excited about? He knew it was selfish to be worrying about him and Magnus on his brother’s big day but there was too much unresolved.

Alec looked out the window as he started the engine, seeing Clary and Jace sitting in the back of a fancy car driven by Luke. Wedding days sucked ass as far as he was concerned. A sigh escaped him as he pulled out and followed the swanky car, he couldn’t see the rest of the day getting any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot more will be revealed in the next chapter, we'll finally get some answers, not all of them but, we'll see what it brings


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa Luke is a mood! 
> 
> Hopefully, this will answer some questions

Magnus hadn’t even looked where his feet were taking him until the tree rose up before him, stopping him in his tracks. It could have been any tree to look at it but it wasn’t. It was their tree. The carving in it that claimed it as such was a testament to that.

He brushed his fingers over the rough bark, over the smooth lines, withered by age but still clearly visible to anyone looking. M+A. Two letters that Alec had almost scraped his knuckles raw carving. 

His fingers traced the line of the heart that surrounded it as the memories came thick and fast, cutting off his limited oxygen.

“Us against the world. You and me. Forever. They don’t get to dictate our lives. I’m not going anywhere. They’ll never tear us apart. One day we’ll be brave. One day we’ll leave. They can’t stop us. I love you”

The words of two twelve-year-olds. Two fifteen-year-olds. Two seventeen-year-olds. Naive promises whispered in a child’s ears. Words that said fuck you to the world in voices that belied the fear that neither of them could push past. 

Except with each other.

“Pity we couldn’t do it for each other, Alexander,” he whispered into the wood, scraping his forehead on the rough bark as he straightened up. He pushed the tears off his face, cursing himself for letting memories swamp him once again.

He turned his back on his tree and his past and forced one foot in front of the other, knowing the path like the back of his hand. It was a short walk to the hotel, the town wasn’t exactly huge. 

He crossed the boundary of the park, climbing the low wall that separated it from the sweeping back gardens of the hotel.

The sound of excited voices broke through to him as he climbed the small hill that led to the garden patio, seeing the rest of the wedding party already waiting. 

Magnus snagged a glass of champagne from a passing waiter as he slipped into the back of the crowd, not realising until then that he must have been gone a while. A hand on his arm had him looking up.

“Magnus, I’ve missed you,” Izzy said, tugging on Magnus’ sleeve when she found him in the crowd. “It’s just me,” she said when she saw him looking around. She couldn’t help but pull him into a hug when she saw his red-rimmed eyes.

“Isabelle, I’ve missed you too,” Magnus said, clinging to Izzy, holding her a little tighter when her arms came around him. God he had missed her, missed all of them, he thought to himself. “Have you and Simon made it official yet?” he asked when she pulled back slightly.

“No, not yet. How have you been?” Izzy asked, surveying Magnus in all his glory and silently cheering him on for his bravery in coming back with his new look. “You look good.”

“Keeping busy, I’ve been working part-time in a bar and studying cosmetology,” Magnus said, gesturing to his look with a flourish. His smile widened when Simon joined them, sinking into his one-armed hug. “When are you going to marry this gorgeous creature?” he asked Simon.

“Someday soon, when we have the money and the time,” Simon said, wrapping his arm around Izzy’s waist as he looked Magnus over. “We’ve all missed you Magnus but I think wherever you’ve been, it’s done you some good.”

“New York, I’ve been staying in Manhattan with a couple of people from work. And yes, it has done me some good, helped me spread my wings a little,” Magnus said, his smile fading at the look that Izzy and Simon shared. “What?”

“New York? Didn’t you bump into Alec while you were there?” Izzy asked, feeling awful when Magnus’ expression shut down. “He’s been living in a loft in Brooklyn,” she said in a quiet voice.

“Well, that’s… I um… I’d have thought they would have stayed here to build their empire but I’m sure they’re very happy there, New York is wonderful. Please excuse me,” Magnus said, spinning on the spot and darting for the open doors to the hotel. He didn’t need to hear about how happy Alec was without him.

Izzy looked at Simon, tears threatening to fall at Magnus’ words. She saw her brother pushing through the crowd to get to them. “Alec, you need to talk to Magnus,” she said when he reached them.

“I tried, he doesn't want to listen, he just ran off before I had a chance to get three words out,” Alec said, his eyes glued to Magnus’ back. 

“You have to make him listen, you need to sort this out,” Izzy said, pushing Alec in the direction Magnus had just walked in. “you need to explain everything to him, Alec,” she said, nodding her encouragement as he followed Magnus.

“Magnus, wait, we need to talk,” Alec said when he stepped through the double doors, straight into the reception hall. His eyes swept the room, set out beautifully in fall colours, guest tables all crammed in a U shape around a small dance floor with a long top table at the head of the room.

Alec watched Magnus freeze in front of the top table, his spine going erect before turning to face him. He couldn’t help but walk forward at the look on Magnus’ face, wanting to pull him into his arms.

“What is there to talk about, Alexander? Shall we talk about your fabulous new life in New York? Or about how you’ve moved on? How about how happy you are without me?” Magnus asked, stopping Alec in his tracks. 

“Now isn’t the time,” Magnus said when he saw the wedding party start to push through the doors behind Alec, cutting off whatever reply he had. He turned to inspect the seating chart in front of him, unable to look at Alec any longer, not with that look of hurt and confusion on his face. 

Magnus almost groaned when he saw that they were both sat at the top table, his only consolation being that he was on the opposite end to Alec. If they had to sit at the same table, at least he wouldn’t have to sit next to him. Small mercies, he thought as he took the last seat on the left end of the long table

Alec wanted to turn and tell them all to get the fuck out. The fact that it was Jace and Clary’s day was the only thing that stopped him. He took his seat at the right end of the top table when he saw the seating chart, cursing Clary when his father took the seat next to him without so much as a glance in his direction.

Magnus watched the room fill up, training his gaze on the people trying to find their seats so he didn’t have to look down the table at Alec. Luke, taking the seat next to him and Jocelyn, on Luke’s other side, was a welcome distraction from the band tightening around his chest.

“So, have any of the bumpkins commented on all of this yet?” Luke asked, grinning when Magnus let out a snort of laughter at his emphasis on the words “all of this” as he gestured at Magnus' look.

“None of them have had the chance, I’m sure I’ll hear all about it at some point,” Magnus said, his eyes following Clary and Jace as they took their seats between Jocelyn and Maryse. “Did you see the good Pastor’s face when I dared enter his church with makeup on my face?”

“I thought his eyes were going to roll out of his head,” Luke said, shaking his head as he looked around, seeing a few disdainful looks directed at Magnus. “Ignore them, it’s their problem if they are too ignorant to accept anyone that isn’t the same as them.”

“I fully intend to,” Magnus said, smiling at the server who placed the first course of their meal down. “I’ve learned to ignore the Ethel Kingston’s of the world. How is she still alive?” Magnus asked, gesturing to the world’s oldest woman who was glaring at him from the closest table, barely 3ft between them.

“Spite, her heart gave out centuries ago, she’s running on pure spite,” Luke said, staring right back at Ethel Kingston, town elder and chief busybody. He thought maybe Magnus was imagining his melon plate was her face. 

“So what’s going on with you and Alec? You two used to be thick as thieves and yet, you’ve barely said two words to each other all morning,” Luke asked, looking down the table to see Alec stabbing at his own melon plate just as viciously as Magnus was.

“It’s... complicated,” Magnus said, following Luke’s gaze down the table. He allowed himself a moment to look, seeing the misery plain on Alec’s face. He wondered at the divide that seemed to have sprung up between Alec and his parents, neither of them deigning to look at him.

“Lovers tiff?” Luke asked, slapping Magnus on the back when he choked on his melon. He didn’t miss the wide-eyed stare Magnus aimed at him. 

“What? Did you think we were all as blind as Robert and Maryse Lightwood? I’ve known you both almost your entire lives, it was pretty obvious if anyone had bothered to look, the two of you have never been just friends,” Luke said, stuffing a large chunk of melon in his mouth.

Magnus was reeling, his eyes darting around to see if anyone else was looking. None of them seemed to have a clue. Their friends were the only ones who had ever known about his and Alec’s relationship, or so he had thought.

“Please, “friends” don’t look at each other the way you two used to. “Friends” don’t spend hours whispering on the phone at night. Don’t think I don’t remember the phone bills you used to run up whenever you stayed over,” Luke said, shaking his head at the way Magnus was gaping at him. 

“And “friends” don’t kiss each other under trees in parks when they think no one is looking,” Luke said, unable to stop his eyebrow rising when Magnus shook his head.

“You never said anything. Does Jocelyn know too? Does everyone?” Magnus asked, his eyes once again sweeping the room to take the entire wedding party in before landing on Luke again.

“Jocelyn does, the rest of them don’t know their asses from their elbows,” Luke said, pushing the last bite of his melon into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. 

“You two had that something special, Magnus. You should have stayed and fought for it, it’s something that only comes along once in a lifetime,” Luke said, his eyes unerringly finding his wife’s face.

“Have you ever tried to fight Maryse Lightwood for anything?” Magnus asked, watching Maryse completely ignore her son. “She had plans for him that certainly didn’t include me. How do you fight years of whispers about “family honour” this and “family comes first” that?” he asked.

“Are you saying he wasn’t worth fighting for?” Luke asked, handing his plate to the server who was replacing it with a plate of brisket. “After everything the two of you went through together, he wasn’t worth fighting for?” he asked, his eyebrow raised in challenge of Magnus’ defeated demeanour.

“No! Of course he is worth fighting for but I had already lost. Maryse practically rules his life, any time she asks him to jump, his first response is to ask how high,” Magnus said with a sad shake of his head. “Walking away from him was the hardest decision of my life but I just… couldn’t.”

“If you knew that, then you should have known that you had to fight harder for what you wanted,” Luke said before stuffing a honking mouthful of beef into his mouth, chewing as he watched Magnus think his words over. 

Luke hadn’t missed Magnus’ use of the present tense or the way Magnus seemed unaware of it.

“The Magnus that I knew would have told the world to go swivel, he would have fought tooth and nail for those he loves. Did life really grind you down that much?” Luke asked.

“You know what my life here was like, Luke,” Magnus said, stabbing at his beef with no desire to eat it. “Even before Raj outed me to the entire school they barely refused to accept me. The foreign foster kid who dared to wear the clothes they wished they were brave enough to wear.”

“It only got worse after that,” Magnus said as memories rose. The number of times Alec had had to talk him out of running away, had sat holding him while he had cried about how unfair life was, were too numerous to count.

“And who was it that stood up for you every time?” Luke asked, watching Magnus’ eyes dart to Alec once more. “Who was it that broke Raj’s nose? Who was it that you ran to every time someone mentioned your clothes or your sexuality or the colour of your skin?” he asked, watching Magnus turn his words over as he finished his beef.

“Who was it that threw all of that out the window with one command from his parents?” Magnus asked, a touch of petulance colouring his tone as Luke laid it all out on the table. 

Magnus didn’t want to think about all the times Alec had been his rock. He wanted to be mad at him, to cling to the pain because it was easier than loving someone you couldn’t have.

“Exactly, a command from his parents. It wasn’t his idea, it wasn’t his choice,” Luke said, leaning back in his chair to watch Magnus.

“We all have choices, Lucian,” Magnus said, handing his mostly full plate to the server that had come to collect it with a sigh, ignoring the raised eyebrow and knowing look that Luke aimed at him.

“Yes, we do. You chose to run, thinking it would stop the pain. I understand why, you needed to protect yourself. But maybe you should ask Alec about the choices he made when you left,” Luke said, tucking into the lemon mousse that was placed before him.

“What do you mean, “when I left”? He had already made his choices,” Magnus said, watching Alec once more, watching him push his plate away, just like he had with the previous two. Not that he had noticed. 

The action had Magnus frowning, Alec and an empty stomach was never a good combination and lemon mousse was his favourite, probably why Clary had picked it.

“Had he? Are you sure about that?” Luke asked, snagging Magnus’ untouched desert when he showed no signs of eating it. He shook his head when Magnus stared at him. “Ask him,” was all he said.

Magnus ignored his churning stomach, ignored the fact that he had told himself not to dwell on Alec and their past today, too caught up in the memories that Luke’s words had dredged up, the good and the bad. 

The best and the worst days of his life ran before Magnus' eyes as the reception went on around him. He didn’t look up until he felt a squeeze on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Clary asked, looking down at Magnus. She had been watching him push his food around his plate, just like Alec had, both of them with miserable looks on their faces. “I have to go and have my first dance but we’ll talk later, okay?” she asked.

“Clary, I’m sorry, I’ve been so caught up in my own problems…” Magnus trailed off at the look on Clary’s face, guilt welling up when she just patted him on the shoulder. Great friend I am, he thought to himself.

“You have nothing to apologise for, Magnus. We all knew today was going to be hard for you both, I understand,” Clary said, cupping Magnus’ face, grinning when he smiled. 

“Better, now, I have a husband to go and dance with,” Clary said with a wink, laughing when he shoved her towards the gap between the tables to meet Jace on the dancefloor.

“I love you, Magnus,” Clary said as she squeezed between the tables, throwing him another wink before taking the hand Jace held out to her. 

“I think Simon is having fun,” Clary said when Jace pulled her close, sinking into his embrace, the embrace of her husband! She thought to herself with a massive grin.

“Are you having fun, Mrs Lightwood?” Jace asked, his eyes darting to Simon at the DJ booth before finding his wife again. His wife! He thought to himself, grinning as he pulled her closer.

“Of course, Mr Lightwood,” Clary said, her stomach fluttering at the way he had said “Mrs Lightwood” like it was a prayer, it had her hiding her face in his neck to stop from squealing. “I love you,” she whispered in his ear, pressing her lips to his neck when he tightened his grip on her.

“I love you too, Mrs Lightwood,” Jace said, unable to help himself, he’d waited years to call her by his last name. He didn’t realise the song had changed as he swayed them around the dance floor, ignoring the crowd to focus on his wife.

“I think we need to thank Magnus for teaching you to dance before he left,” Clary said breathlessly when Jace dipped her, laughing when he straightened them up and twirled her around, keeping tight hold of her hand as she twirled under his arm before coming to land in his arms again.

“What are we going to do about those two? They won’t even look at each other for more than a minute,” Jace asked with a sigh, pulling Clary back against him and staring down into her eyes for the answers that had him wanting to pull his hair out.

“I don’t know, I wish they’d just talk,” Clary said, a wave of sadness welling up for her best friend and new brother. They had always been so good together, even if they hid their relationship away from the rest of the world. If she could just get them to… “I’ve got an idea.”

Jace looked at Clary, almost laughing at the look on her face as she concocted some sort of plan in her head. He was almost tempted to warn Alec and Magnus, her plans tended to take on a life of their own. 

“I’ll be right back,” Clary said, smacking her lips to Jace’s before turning away. She stopped when she felt Jace take her wrist. “Trust me, they will thank me for it,” she said with a grin, dashing off when Jace just shook his head.

Jace watched her go, leaning down to talk to Alec. Whatever she was suggesting, his brother was on board with it, judging by the look of hope that bloomed on his face. 

Jace was intrigued when Alec stood as Clary dashed to have a word with Simon, not knowing if the grin that spread over Simon’s face was a good or a bad thing.

“Watch,” Clary said when she returned to Jace’s side, her eyes darting from Simon to Alec, who was making his way around the table and back to Simon again, giving him the nod. She was mentally clapping at her plan when Simon took to the mic. 

“I know you probably don’t want to but go and ask Maryse to dance. And try and keep her in check,” Clary said, pushing Jace towards his mom as she went to collect Luke for the next dance.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the first dance is over,” Simon said, fighting his grin to talk to the watching crowd. “It’s time for the father and daughter, mother and son and best man and man of honour to take to the floor,” He said, ignoring the whisper that spread through the room at his words.

Magnus was so caught up in his thoughts he almost missed the hand that floated in front of his face. He didn’t need to look up to know it was Alec, he knew every millimetre of that hand better than he knew his own. 

Magnus' heart started pounding when he did look up, wondering if Alec knew that half the town was watching.

“Magnus, will you dance with me?” Alec asked, watching Magnus’ face, seeing the disbelief etched onto it, probably at the fact that he was blatantly asking a man to dance with him in front of half the town. If Magnus thought that was going to stop him, he could think again, he had come too far to let them dictate his actions.

“I’ll bet your mom would just love that, and your wife,” Magnus muttered under his breath, his eyes darting around to see what Lydia Branw… Lightwood thought of her husband asking a man to dance with him instead of her. 

It dawned on Magnus then that he hadn’t seen her or her family once, the whole day.

Magnus realised everyone was watching him. Everyone. All eyes were on him, waiting on his reaction. Nosey bastards, he thought to himself as a surge of defiance welled up in him. He reached up and let Alec pull him to his feet. 

Magnus and Alec’s gazes snapped to Ethel Kingston when she muttered “two men dancing together is unnatural” their gazes narrowing into twin scowls. “Mind your business, Ethel,” they said in unison before Alec tugged Magnus through the gap between their tables.

Alec took Magnus’ hand in his left, the hand he had held too many times to count as his right hand found the small of Magnus’ back, inhaling the beautiful scent of sandalwood. 

I’ve missed this, Alec thought to himself as he started them swaying, proud of the fact that he didn’t care about who was watching them. How could he care when he could feel every inch of Magnus' body pressed against him?

“Nosey old hag,” Magnus muttered as Alec pulled him in close, almost grinning at the affronted look on her face. It took him a moment to realise he was back in Alec’s arms after so long, trying to fight the feeling of home that rose up as he inhaled the scent that was so undeniably Alec.

“She’s probably bitter because her arthritic hip couldn’t make it once around the dancefloor, that and the fact that nobody wants to dance with the miserable old bitch,” Alec said, a smile ghosting his lips when Magnus snorted. 

“You remembered all the steps,” Magnus said as Alec moved them around the floor, feeling it was safer to make small talk than talk about anything that mattered. It wasn’t like memories of Alec standing on his toes as he tried to teach him to waltz rose up. 

Magnus certainly wasn’t thinking of the way Alec used to try and distract him with kisses as they went through the steps. Not at all.

“I told you I’d get it eventually,” Alec said, his eyes tracing the amber flecks in Magnus’ eyes before Magnus looked away. 

“It may have taken me a minute but I got there eventually,” Alec said, looking into Magnus’ eyes once more when they met his, aware of Magnus' hand in his, Magnus' hand on his shoulder, Magnus' solid presence in his arms after so long.

“Unfortunately, eventually was just that little bit too late,” Magnus said, knowing full well Alec wasn’t talking about his dance skills. He was unable to stop his hands from tightening their hold as his words cut into Alec, still wanting to protect him, to brush his finger over the thin line Alec's eyebrows had fallen into. 

Magnus stared at the pained look flitting through Alec’s hazel eyes, hating how beautiful he still found them with the 37 different shades of brown and green in them. 

Magnus should know how many there were, he had counted them all. His chest tightened when the memory of lying on Alec's bed, memorizing the colours as the early morning light lit them up, rose up.

“I did my best, Magnus. I wasn’t ready, I was too scared,” Alec said, his hand clutching the back of Magnus’ jacket just that little bit tighter as he turned them around the floor, ignoring the sparks he could see flying from his mother's eyes, in his peripheral.

“You don’t think I was scared too? Do you think I didn’t know the fear of other people's judgements? That I wasn't desperate for them to accept me too? Look at where we grew up, Alexander,” Magnus said, watching Jace practically wrestle Maryse over Alec’s shoulder. The sight of it still made him want to push Alec behind him, to protect him from the world.

“I would have been there with you, every step of the way. Nobody said you had to do it on your own,” Magnus said, unable to help his voice from grating out as he repeated the words he had said the night Alec had told him of his parent's plans for him. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be as brave as you, Magnus,” Alec said, almost wincing at the petulant tone of his voice, the same petulant tone he had used every time their old argument came up.

“You didn’t have to come out, all you had to do was say no,” Magnus said. He was trying to keep his anger in check, conscious of the eyes on them but it was hard when memories of their last night together started swirling through his head again.

“Like it was that easy? Just say no and my parents would have accepted it? like that was ever going to happen,” Alec said bitterly, unsure of whether he hated himself or his parents more in that moment. 

“It would have been better than having to marry a woman, spend your life with someone you hated, someone you could never love,” Magnus hissed, his frustration at Maryse and Robert Lightwood boiling over. 

“It doesn’t matter anyway, does it? It’s too late now, you’re stuck with her,” Magnus said, trying to pull away from Alec’s grip.

“Stuck with her?” Alec asked, tightening his grip on Magnus’ waist as he stared into his eyes, seeing the hurt and anger there and the frustration, knowing it was him that had put it all there. 

“I’m not stuck with anyone, Magnus," Alec said, hating the hurt expression that crossed Magnus' face, the look of disbelief and anger that swirled in his beautiful eyes.

“Oh please, you can’t seriously tell me you enjoy being married to Lydia, you can’t even have a proper relationship with her, not like what we had, nothing could compare to that. You can't even touch her, can you?” Magnus asked incredulously. Was Alec seriously going to pretend like he actually liked being married to the woman?

“I never married her. I called it off when you left me, I couldn’t go through with it,” Alec said, glaring at the look of disbelief on Magnus’ face. He stubbornly held on when he felt Magnus stiffen in his arms.

“Don’t lie to me, Alexander, your wedding ring is practically burning a hole in my hand,” Magnus said, staring pointedly at the silver wedding band on Alec’s ring finger where their hands were joined.

“I’m not lying,” Alec said, dropping the hand in his when Magnus’ words and the look on his face punched him in the gut. He shoved his hand into the collar of his shirt, yanking the chain that he kept there from his neck and pushed it into Magnus’ hand.

“It isn’t a wedding ring, it’s a promise ring. I had them made before my mother decided to marry me off to Lydia,” Alec said, turning on his heel and heading for the doors. The anger and hurt coursing through him had him swiping angry tears from his eyes as he barged through the crowd.

Magnus stared down at the chain swinging from his grasp, seeing a silver band hanging from the thin silver chain. He pulled the ring eye level, his uncomprehending brain taking a full minute to process what he saw there. 

Two little letters separated by a little plus sign, engraved on the inside of the band.

A+M.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the stab to the feels 
> 
> < / 3


	5. Chapter 5

Izzy pushed through the double doors, going after Alec. She didn't know what had happened with Magnus while they had danced but he looked like he needed to talk to someone. 

She found him sitting on the grassy hill that led down to the gardens, raising her eyebrows at him until he took his jacket off and laid it out on the grass.

“This dress is too nice to be getting grass stains on it,” Izzy said, taking a seat on Alec's jacket. “Do you want to tell me what that was about?” She asked, shaking her head when he tried to turn away.

“Alec, what happened?” Izzy asked, taking his chin in hand and turning his head. She felt awful when she saw the pain on his face.

“He hates me. After everything we went through, he hates me Iz,” Alec said, his tone as hollow as the space where his heart should be.

“Oh Alec, he loves you, you big idiot. He’s just hurting,” Izzy said, shaking her head. She wanted to shake both of them, preferably until they had some sense knocked into them.

“He thinks I lied to him, that I married her then tried to hide it from him,” Alec said, his hands curling into fists at the whole fucked up situation. 

“Can you blame him? After what happened last time, he was bound…” Izzy cut off when she saw the look on his face.

“I didn't lie to him,” Alec insisted stubbornly, scowling at the incredulous look on his sister's face.

“Three days is a long time to know something without telling the other person,” Izzy said, daring him to say otherwise. “You should have told him straight away.”

“Straight away? I could barely wrap my head around it myself. What was I supposed to say?” Alec asked, pulling tufts of grass from the lawn in his frustration.

“How about, Magnus, my parents have decided I have to marry Lydia?” Izzy asked, grabbing his hand to stop the mauling he was giving the grass.

“I did tell him that and then he left me,” Alec said, trying to banish the memory of standing on Jace's porch, telling Magnus that all of his promises were for nothing. The image of Magnus’ stricken face rose up unbidden, making him hate himself that little bit more.

“You need to stop saying that, Alec. That he left you,” Izzy said, her frustration with his stubbornness clear in her tone.

“He did, he ran without a backwards glance,” Alec insisted, finding it easier to blame Magnus than accept that the fault was his own. He had shied away from it, using blame to protect himself when he was unable to live with the knowledge that he had destroyed the one good thing in his life.

“Can you blame him? He was heartbroken, the boy he was in love with told him he was marrying someone else,” Izzy said as gently as possible, there was no real way to soften the blow, the way Alec jerked at her words was a testament to that.

“Yeah, and I was having the time of life. I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my life with a girl I could never love,” Alec said, repeating Magnus’ earlier words while he scowled down at his shoes.

“That’s not what I meant, I know that you didn’t want it, that it wasn’t your idea but try and see it from his perspective, you were his future, you were everything to him,” Izzy said, frustration once again rising at the sarcasm dripping from his words.

“Do you think I don’t know that? He is the love of my life, Izzy. We had plans for a future together, he was all I ever wanted. Then I ruined it,” Alec almost yelled, raking his hand through his hair, wanting to pull it out.

“Then why didn’t you say no? Why not just tell them to go to hell?” Izzy asked, staring at the raw emotion on his face, emotion that he always tried to hide. It was as plain as day.

“You don’t get it, do you? You don't know what it's like to made to feel like your not normal, like there's something wrong with you. People say what you are is disgusting and immoral, and all you want to do is fit in, to be the same as everyone else. To be accepted,” Alec said staring his sister down.

“But I wasn't the same as everyone else, was I? All my life I was told what to do and I did it because I was so fucking terrified of rocking the boat, of being a disappointment. So I went along with it, I kept quiet because that's what I've always done,” Alec said, furious with himself.

“I was a coward Izzy, I drove him away because I was too scared to live my own life, to have what I wanted. And he left me and it was all my fault,” Alec said, dashing his tears away.

“It wasn't all your fault, Alec. Mom and dad should never have done that to you. The way they did it, behind your back…’ Izzy cut off angrily, hating her parents for what they had done to Alec.

“But it was. You were right, Magnus was right, I should have just told them, I should have stopped it the second it started,” Alec said, admitting the truth he had tried to hide from. “I don't deserve him, this is my punishment for not taking his side, our side.”

“Alec… you're not being punished, this isn't something you deserve,” Izzy said, her heart breaking for her brother, the brother that always put everyone else first, even when it destroyed him and everything he cared about.

“Of course it is, I threw away everything we had to keep everyone else happy and broke the heart of the one person that actually mattered. I don't deserve him Iz, after everything he did for me, I don't deserve him,” Alec said with a broken sob.

Izzy pulled her brother into her arms, not knowing how to comfort him. She tried to hold onto him tighter but she knew it was no use, he wouldn't let anyone comfort him when he was like this, anyone except Magnus.

“I can't Izzy, I just need some space,” Alec said, disentangling himself from her arms when she tried to hold him tighter. He squeezed her hand before pushing himself up, turning away when tears stung his eyes once more. 

Izzy watched him go, his long legs making short work of the distance between her and the low wall that separated the gardens from the park. She sighed when he hopped over the wall. The hand on her shoulder had her reacting automatically.

“What the hell, Isabelle?” Magnus yelped breathlessly when he found himself flat on his back at her feet, all the air knocked from his lungs as he hit the ground like a tonne of bricks.

“Magnus! I’m so sorry, are you okay?” Izzy rushed out, coming up on her knees to pat him down. “Don’t sneak up on people, make some noise when you walk!” she admonished as she helped him sit up.

“I wasn’t sneaking,” Magnus scowled, brushing himself off as his heart rate slowly settled. He let a sigh escape him at the look on her face. “Okay, I was sneaking a little, I didn’t want to startle you. I forgot how badass you are,” he said, shaking his head at himself.

“Startle me? I almost had a heart attack, you don’t grab a girl in the middle of the night,” Izzy admonished him with a raised eyebrow.

“The middle of the night? The sun hasn’t even set,” Magnus said as he shuffled to sit next to her on Alec’s jacket. He shrugged his own jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders when he saw her shiver, mindful of the cool fall breeze as the afternoon wore on.

“It feels like it, it’s been a long day,” Izzy said, thanking him with a smile for his jacket as she pushed her arms into the sleeves, engulfed in Magnus’ scent. She had missed it. “How much of that did you hear?” she asked as his arm came around her, sinking into his side.

“All of it, I followed you out. I know I was snooping but I couldn’t help myself,” Magnus admitted, not sorry in the slightest, it was more than he had managed to pry out of Alec all those months ago. “What happened that night Izzy?” he asked.

“You know what happened, Magnus, you were there,” Izzy said, wanting to shake him just as hard as she wanted to shake her brother. “Maybe you should tell me? We all came back to find Alec crying on the porch and a note from you saying that you were leaving. I still haven’t forgiven you for that by the way!” she said.

“I don’t know what happened, he clammed up like he always does. He was so quiet all through dinner and in the days leading up to it. I had to practically pry it from him,” Magnus said around the lump in his throat, shaking his head at his stubborn… at how stubborn Alec was.

“All he said was that he was getting married to Lydia, that your parents had arranged some cock and bull wedding with the Branwell’s and that he had no choice. It didn’t take a genius to work out the deal they had made,” Magnus said, anger flaring at the older generation of Lightwoods.

Izzy could understand the anger in Magnus’ tone, none of them had ever truly forgiven their parents for what they had done, the fact that their parents were there at all was down to Clary insisting they start building bridges with their parents.

“I tried to talk to him, to get him to just say no but he clammed up, started talking about his duty and how he had no choice. He was like a robot, even when I yelled at him to stand up to them, to think for himself. So I left, I couldn’t stick around and watch him throw our life away,” Magnus said.

“Why does he always do that? Just shut down and go along with what he’s told?” Izzy sighed, it was his go-to move, keep them all happy and pretend that he didn’t feel, pretend that he didn’t matter as long as everyone else got what they wanted. Something their parents had been quick to take advantage of.

“Maybe it’s my own fault for not sticking around to talk about it but I need to know what happened, Isabelle,” Magnus said, turning to the girl he thought of as his sister and taking her hand. “Start from the beginning, tell me everything.”

“They went behind his back, Magnus. They didn’t even tell him until a week before the wedding. They arranged the whole thing with the Branwell’s, even Lydia didn’t know,” Izzy said, sadness welling up for her brother and her old friend, Lydia. 

“Mom and dad invited them all over for dinner and they announced it to Alec and Lydia like they were talking about going on a holiday together or something, they didn’t even ask either of them whether they wanted it, they just expected them both to go along with it.”

“Why do the parents around here think they have the right to just decide for their children? “You are an extension of us” “you represent our family”,” she said, imitating her parent's ridiculous statements.

“They are all so worried about what others think about them that they sacrifice their own children's happiness to put their best face on for the rest of the town. They are all the same, It's like other people’s opinions are more important than what their children need,” Izzy scowled.

“Tell me about it, it’s like the entire town has to be better than everyone else, “look at us, we are the epitome of what you should all aspire to be”, it’s ridiculous, like life's one big competition to be better than others,” Magnus said, reminding himself once more that he was better off away from them all.

“It was all for a deal, Magnus. They were marrying their children to solidify a deal, the Branwell’s had the land and mom and dad had the money to build on it and the connections to sell once they had finished the houses,” Izzy said bitterly.

“I thought as much,” Magnus said, shaking his head at the selfishness of the Lightwood’s and the Branwell’s. The worst part was, he had liked Lydia, she was one of the few kids at their school who was nice to him, aside from his friends. “It sounds like Lydia was used just as much as Alexander was.”

“She was, she went along with it too, to please her parents,” Izzy said with a sad shake of her head. Everyone just went along with whatever their parents wanted for them. 

“He tried, Magnus. He tried for three days to tell you. When we had dinner that night, he begged mom and dad not to mention it, knowing he had to tell you, he didn’t want you to hear it from them,” Izzy said, squeezing his hand when she saw the tired, sad expression on his face.

“When we came back to Jace’s you were gone and he just fell apart, it was the first time in a long time that any of us had seen him cry, we had never seen him cry like that. Jace and Simon had to practically carry him into the house,” Izzy said, clutching Magnus hand harder at his indrawn breath.

“He told us that you had left him, that he had lost you,” Izzy said, tears stinging her eyes as she remembered the way Alec had sobbed. 

“Then he got drunk and left. We found him at mom and dads, screaming at them that they had ruined his life and that he wouldn’t marry her. They tried to make him “see sense”, harping on about how it was his duty,” she said.

“But he refused?” Magnus asked, kicking himself for not sticking around, for not fighting harder for them. He could have been there with Alec, to help him tell his parents but he had bolted, too caught up in his own hurt and anger.

“Yes, he was so drunk that he passed out. Jace and Simon had to carry him up to bed, it was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever seen,” Izzy said, remembering how her fiance and brother had had to carry Alec up the stairs, banging his head off every other step as they had wrestled his long limbs to get him up there.

“He never could hold his liquor,” Magnus said, a smile ghosting his lips as he remembered how sappy and emotional Alec became when he had a few drinks in him, how loving he was if they were celebrating something. And how salty he became if he was upset, unable to help himself.

“When he came down the next morning, mom and dad tried to kick him out but he already had his bags packed,” Izzy said, remembering the way their parents had barely looked at Alec as he walked out the door. 

“He left. None of us even knew where he was until he sent a text a week later, saying he was starting fresh in New York and needed time to himself. He didn't keep in contact much, a text or email every month or so,” Izzy said, a lump forming in he throat, they had all missed him.

“We both ran to New York, the big city,” Magnus said, almost kicking himself for not knowing. “And you said he’s been living in Brooklyn this whole time? So close,” he said when she just nodded.

“He left three days before the wedding, mom and dad had to cancel all their plans and tell the Branwell’s,” Izzy said, unable to hide the vicious glee from her tone and not really giving a fuck, it served them right. 

“Oh, I’ll bet the Branwell’s just loved that. I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me they tried to sue your mom and dad,” Magnus said, imagining a huge showdown between the Lightwood’s and the Branwell’s with savage delight. He saw his mood mirrored on Izzy’s face.

“No, they didn’t sue but they had already started announcing it to the town, Izzy fumed, disgusted by the whole affair. "The sneaky bastards had waited until the last possible minute so that Lydia and Alec couldn’t back out. They called the deal off when mom and dad told them that Alec was gone.”

“Is that why they aren’t here today?” Magnus asked, seeing her nod. “How did they face the town after their announcement?” he asked, not giving two shits about how embarrassed Lydia’s parents must have been, they deserved it.

“They didn’t, they packed up and sold all of their land. They didn’t use mom and dad to sell it either,” Izzy said with a sly grin, chuckling when Magnus started laughing. 

It was her favourite laugh, the one where he threw his head back and got all his teeth out, his eyes screwed up as he howled with laughter, she had missed that laugh.

“None of us spoke to mom and dad for months, that's why Jace and Clary never had the big wedding they had planned, they refused to accept their money. It’s why Simon and I aren’t married yet, we don’t want their money either,” Izzy said when they both stopped laughing.

“Clary made us start talking to them, she said that family was important and Jace and I missed Max, we didn’t get to see as much of him as we wanted to. I moved in with Simon that weekend, unable to live with them any longer, but we missed Max so we started talking to them again,” Izzy said.

“Don’t worry, Isabelle, I understand,” Magnus said when he heard the apology in her tone. “I have missed him myself, to be honest, he must have been so confused.”

“He was, he kept asking when Alec was coming home, when both of you were. He said mom and dad refused to tell him what had happened and that they wouldn’t talk about Alec,” Izzy said with a sad shake of her head. 

“You should have seen him this morning when he saw that Alec was back. He asked Alec why he had left, Alec told him that he loved you too much to stay,” Izzy said. 

“Alec told him?” Magnus asked, his eyes wide as he gaped at Izzy, seeing her nod with a proud grin on her face. “Did he… tell your mom and dad? Did he… come out to them?” he asked.

“No, even when he was rotten drunk he was too scared, they still don't know,” Izzy said, squeezing Magnus’ hand when he just nodded his understanding. 

“He has changed while he’s been away though, could you imagine the old Alec asking another boy to dance in front of half of the town? Even you wouldn’t have done that and you were the bravest of us all,” Izzy said with a grin.

“I wasn’t brave, I just had no choice,” Magnus said, meeting Izzy’s eyes before they both muttered “Raj” his name coming out like an expletive. “Remember how hard Raj cried when Alec broke his nose?” he asked, grinning at the expression on her face.

“I thought Alec was going to kill him, he went for him so hard,” Izzy said, laughing as she remembered following Alec onto Raj's school bus, dragging Alec off Raj with Jace and Simon, it had taken the three of them to hold him back. 

“He’s lucky all he got was a broken nose, that was a shitty thing to do, the spiteful bastard. It was okay for him, he didn't have to put up with the shit you did, safe in his own town, away from all the assholes. you already had so much to deal with,” Izzy said, pulling him a little closer. 

Magnus didn’t disagree, his life had been hell after that, Raj standing up in the library at school and announcing that he was “a queer” to the silent room. 

"The ignorant asshole couldn’t even get his facts straight," Magnus said. It hadn't mattered, the damage had been done, it didn’t take long for it to spread to the rest of the school. Alec had been suspended for a month when he had gone for Raj.

“Izzy, what do you know about this?” Magnus asked, pulling the chain and ring that Alec had given him from his pocket and showing it to her.

“He gave you this?” Izzy gasped out when she saw what Magnus was holding, the ring dangling from the chain swinging in his grasp. “You need to ask Alec about it,” she said when he nodded, a confused look on his face. 

“I don’t know where he is though, he just left,” Izzy said.

“I know where he is,” Magnus said, getting to his feet and helping Izzy up. He pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips to her forehead. “Thank you, Isabelle, I’ll find him,” he said when he released her.

“Just talk to him, don’t go letting your emotions cloud your judgement, you’re both so stubborn,” Izzy said, raising her eyebrow at him when an incredulous expression crossed his face. She raised her eyebrows until he silently conceded her point. 

Izzy shrugged out of Magnus' jacket and handed it over, along with Alec’s jacket. “Talk, and listen!” she said.

“If I'd had all the information, I could have talked to him back then. But I will listen, Isabelle and I'll make him listen too,” Magnus said, shrugging his jacket on and taking Alec’s jacket from her. He watched until she went back inside before turning on his heel and crossing the gardens. 

Magnus clutched Alec’s jacket to his chest, inhaling the scent of it to ground himself. There's only one place Alec would be, he thought to himself as he climbed over the low wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's what happened. Let's hope these two stubborn idiots can sort themselves out!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can these two idiots just talk? Good laaaaawd I love them!

“Go away, Izzy, I said I Wanted to be alone,” Alec said when he heard footsteps on the other side of his tree, quickly wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt when her footsteps didn’t retreat.

“It’s me,” Magnus said as he stepped around their tree to find Alec wiping his face, watching the way he flinched and hating it. He hated the way Alec wouldn’t even look at him. “Izzy told me everything, why didn’t you tell me, Alexander? Why didn’t you just talk to me?” he asked.

“Why do you think? It was bad enough telling my boyfriend that I was marrying someone else without having to admit I was too scared of their reaction to tell my mom and dad who I was, to say no. I was too weak to stand up to them,” Alec said, too ashamed to look at Magnus, choosing to stare at his shoes instead.

“They took advantage of you, they knew you would do as you were told,” Magnus said, unable to hold his anger for Maryse and Robert back. He felt awful when he saw Alec shudder. “I’m mad at them, Alexander. It didn’t make you weak to want to please your parents, you just wanted their acceptance,” he sighed.

“And look at the price I paid to please them,” Alec said, picking at his fingernails. “Look at the price we paid. I made them happy and lost you in the process. It wasn’t worth it, you were right, I should have just told them what they could have done with their wedding,” he said.

“Then you called it off anyway,” Magnus said, clutching Alec’s jacket a little tighter. “You finally stood up for yourself,” he said, his tone softening as a spark of pride welled up in him.

“After it was too late,” Alec said. He had stood up for himself when it was too late to count.

“Why?” Magnus asked, watching Alec trail his fingers through leaves that had fallen from the tree, wanting to shake him, wishing Alec would look at him. “Why did you call it off after I was gone? What made you so brave all of a sudden?”

“What could they do to me that I hadn't already done to myself? The worst had already happened, I had already lost you. I spent so many years worrying about the wrong things, thinking there would be nothing worse than having my parents, this whole stupid town hate me. How wrong I was,” Alec said, unwilling to filter the bitter self-depreciation from his tone.

“I forgot to worry about what actually mattered, you,” Alec said, slamming his eyes closed as hatred for the way he had acted welled up.

Magnus wanted to reach out, to sweep Alec up into his arms and hold him, the way he had so many times before when Alec had gotten like this. He almost did, he would have if Alec hadn’t opened his mouth to speak again.

“The minute it sank in, that you were gone, that I had lost you, it all came crashing down on me. I had destroyed my only chance at happiness. I found the courage to call it off because out of all the outcomes my actions that night could have had, nothing was worse than losing you,” Alec said, the words he had hidden from for too long finally pouring from his mouth.

“Maybe if I had been a little bit braver before that moment, I wouldn’t have thrown our whole future away for them,” Alec said, a fresh wave of tears welling up. He blinked them back, trying to hide them from Magnus.

“Maybe if I wasn’t so caught up in my own self-pity and anger, I wouldn’t have thrown it away either,” Magnus said, shaking his head at himself. “It wasn’t all you, I should have stayed and made you see sense. We both made mistakes,” he said.

“You were right to leave my sorry ass. It was my own stupid fault for going along with it, it was what I deserved,” Alec said.

“You didn’t deserve to be left on your own to face them, what kind of boyfriend just runs off like that? I knew what kind of pressure they always put you under, what their expectations were but I ran anyway,” Magnus said, staring down at Alec’s stricken face when his head shot up. When Alec finally looked at him.

“I should have stayed and faced them with you, I should have fought a little… a lot harder,” Magnus said, cutting Alec’s protest off, wanting, once again, to hold him when he saw the red rims of Alec’s puffy eyes. He opted to sit next to Alec at the foot of the tree instead, positive the hollow that they always sat in, in the roots, had shrunk.

“How did we get here, Magnus? How did we stray so far from what we were?” Alec asked, feeling goosebumps rise up where Magnus’ body was pressed against his in the limited space. He accepted his jacket when Magnus handed it to him, spreading it over both of them like he used to when they were kids.

“We were two frightened idiots who ran away from their problems instead of staying for each other,” Magnus sighed as he pulled Alec’s jacket up, his eyes darting left to see Alec hang his head. “We both fucked up, we should have sorted them out, together,” he said.

“All those promises I made you amounted to nothing, one word from my parent’s and I just threw them all away, I caved, the same as I always did,” Alec said, the regret clear in his tone as he clutched his jacket closer to his chin.

“I made promises too. You and me against the world? I’m not going anywhere? except I did, I left you here,” Magnus said, staring at a bold squirrel that darted past them because it was easier than looking Alec in the eye. He had thrown his own promises away just as easily and left Alec alone to face them, after all the times he had sworn he wouldn’t, all the times he had sworn to be there.

“I don’t blame you. I tried to, for so long. I almost managed to convince myself that it was your fault because I was too much of a coward to face up to the fact that I was the one to blame,” Alec admitted, turning to look at Magnus. He reached out, hesitating a moment before wiping the tear that rolled down Magnus’ cheek away. “If I had just told them…”

Magnus leaned into the touch, forgetting that he was still hurt and lost. Loneliness was the prevailing emotion that won out. He had missed that touch, more than he had realised, over the last year.

“Believe me, Alexander, I know that fear. It doesn’t make you a coward. It ran deep in both of us,” Magnus said, holding onto Alec’s hand when it was removed from his cheek.

“And yet, you faced the world while I hid from it,” Alec said, playing with the rings on Magnus’ polished fingers. He knew he was pushing his luck but he would take any part of Magnus he was given, even just a hand.

“What choice did I have? It was either face the world or lock myself away from it. Do you think I would have been able to do that without you? How do you think I got through those days?” Magnus asked as he watched Alec’s long fingers trace the edges of his fingernails. “With you by my side.”

“If I had just been a little bit braver, I could have gone through it with you. You would have been there for me too. I understand that now,” Alec said, shifting around to look at Magnus. “I knew it then, I just wasn’t ready.”

“I know. I’m so sorry I pushed you, I just didn’t want to hide anymore. We shouldn’t have had to hide. I hated it, that we couldn’t just be together how we wanted, that we couldn’t have what Clary and Jace had, what Izzy and Simon had. So I pushed,” Magnus said, his own thumb brushing Alec’s.

“I needed the push. I'm just sorry I let others make my decisions for me, that I let my need for acceptance push us into the shadows. It wasn't fair to you… or myself, you were everything to me, Magnus,” Alec said, leaning his head against the tree.

“I should have fought for us, the way you tried to. I'll never regret anything more than I regret that night, not for the rest of my life,” Alec said, feeling like a weight had lifted from his shoulders even if his stomach still felt like lead. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Magnus,” he said, interlocking their fingers, thanking God when Magnus squeezed his hand instead of pulling away.

“I’m sorry too, I wish I had stayed, that I had made you listen,” Magnus said, shifting to face Alec, his eyes sweeping every inch of Alec’s face. 

“Regret and hindsight, it’s funny how we see the path we should have taken after the fact,” Magnus said, memories of their life swirling through his head, wondering what would have happened if they had done things differently.

“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we had actually run away when we were 16?” Magnus asked, smiling when Alec rolled his eyes, unable to help himself at the familiar gesture.

“We would have ended up in a ditch within a week,” Alec said, shaking his head at his 16-year-old self and their naive plan to run away together. “We had it all figured out, didn’t we? All of it, except somewhere to live and money and a clear plan that involved eating.”

“Who needs to eat when you have young love and the convictions that you could fight the world with it?” Magnus asked with a chuckle. “We thought we knew everything, a couple of kids who pretended they were braver than they actually were.”

“You were brave, you’re the bravest person I’ve ever known,” Alec said, gesturing to the black nail polish and makeup Magnus was sporting. “You look beautiful today, just as beautiful as last time I saw you wearing this,” he said, remembering Magnus’ first attempt at makeup.

“Ugh, don’t go there,” Magnus said with a shudder, unable to stop his thoughts running to that day, to Alec taking his face in his hands and kissing him like it was their last kiss, kissing every inch of his face before the clatter of heels on the stairs had broken through their bubble.

“I had never moved so fast in my life, I thought Clary and Izzy were going to just burst into my room, they never were fans of knocking. You almost broke my bed when you jumped off it to block the door,” Magnus chuckled, Clary and Izzy had pounded on the door to get in while Alec held the door so he could scrub his face.

“You looked terrified, I would have locked them out of the house if they would have gone quietly,” Alec said, laughing at the thought of it. “Remember Clary’s face when you told them we were having sex and they almost walked in on us naked?” he asked, ducking his head at the memory.

“Ha, it was almost as red as yours,” Magnus said with a grin, tugging Alec’s head up so he could look at that blush again. His grin widened when he remembered how Clary and Alec hadn’t been able to look each other in the eye for a week. 

“Your sister was so happy for us though, remember that ridiculous dance she did?” Magnus asked, chuckling at the eye roll Alec couldn’t hide.

“Yeah, the “my brother isn’t a virgin anymore” dance, can you believe she actually called it that?” Alec asked, catching Magnus’ grin, knowing it was because they hadn’t been virgins for months by that time. “We didn’t need to burst her bubble.”

“I thought it was the “my brother had his first kiss” dance?” Magnus asked, furrowing his brow to try and remember if it was the same dance she did when she caught them making out under the tree they now sat under.

“She had a lot of dances. Like the “my brother is going to prom with a boy” dance,” Alec said, shaking his head at his ridiculous sister. Love for her welled up when he remembered her squealing and snapping photos of them in their suits, even if they had had to pretend to go as friends, neither of them had been ready to go public and would have been turned away anyway.

“All the girls at school were devastated that the handsome Alec Lightwood never asked any of them to be his prom date,” Magnus said, a superior smirk crossing his face at the thought that he had snagged the most eligible bachelor for his date. 

“They were all furious that you would rather go with your “friend” than them,” Magnus chuckled. There had been a lot of jealous bitching that night.

“How could I have refused when you asked me so sweetly? The note was a nice touch,” Alec chuckled, accepting the elbow in the ribs Magnus aimed at him.

“Sweet? I asked you the same way you asked me to be your boyfriend,” Magnus said, shaking his head when Alec pulled a pleased smirk onto his face.

“Exactly!” Alec chuckled, pulling his wallet out. “I still have it, look,” he said, pulling the crumpled note out of his wallet, staring down at Magnus’ elegant handwriting in the fading sunlight.

“will you be my prom date? I checked the ‘yes’ box so fast. The ‘no’ box and the ‘I don’t know’ box weren’t even options,” Alec said with a grin.

“I still have yours,” Magnus said, laughing when Alec gaped at him as he pulled his own wallet out, showing Alec the note he had given him in 3rd grade. “Look at that chicken scratch, Clary and I giggled like a couple of girls when I checked the “yes” box, it was the sweetest thing I had ever seen,” he conceded, staring down at the scribbled out ‘no’ and ‘I don’t know’ boxes.

“I can’t take all the credit for that, it was Izzy’s idea,” Alec admitted sheepishly as he stared at the note he had given Magnus, remembering how he had thrown it at Magnus and ran away. If he could go back and give his 8-year-old self any advice, it would be to not let fear rule him, he thought to himself.

“She always was far too invested in our relationship,” Magnus said, not minding one bit. He was unable to hide the fondness in his tone, he loved Izzy like a sister. 

“At least she made sure we got to dance together that night, under this tree no less,” Magnus said, both of them laughing at the way she had insisted they ditch prom and come and get drunk in the park, bringing her iPod for them all to dance to.

“We’ve had a lot of firsts under this tree, first date, first kiss, first I love you,” Alec said, looking into Magnus’ eyes, seeing the memories that ran through his own head swirl in them. There was the smile he loved so much. “We made all of our promises under this tree.”

“Our promises… speaking of promises, what did you mean by promise ring?” Magnus asked, pulling the chain and ring out of his pocket and holding it up, watching Alec reach out and twirl the chain around his long fingers.

“I bought these and had them engraved for us when Clary and I went on that trip to New York. You were so mad that we didn’t take you with us but this is why. We went there to buy them,” Alec said, smiling at the look of contrition on Magnus’ face.

“I didn’t want to spoil the surprise, so we left you here. I had Clary steal one of your rings so I could get the right size,” Alec said, taking the chain and slipping the ring off it, the setting sun glinting off the silver band. He pulled the silver band off his own finger and handed it over to Magnus, his finger feeling strangely empty without it.

Magnus looked down at the ring that Alec pulled off his finger, just able to make out the white tan line there, Alec had obviously worn it for a while. He struggled to see the ring in the fading light until Alec pulled his phone out and switched the torch on. His stomach clenched when he saw a picture of them as Alec’s screen lock.

“Um, I never got around to changing that,” Alec said, feeling his face heat up when he saw a smile play at the corner of Magnus’ lips. It might have been a new phone and he might have set a picture of them from prom as his screen lock, not that he would admit it out loud.

Magnus took the phone and shone the torch on the ring to look at it, completely ignoring the fact that it was a new phone and that the screen lock on his own phone was a different picture of them from the same night. He saw two little letters engraved on the inside of Alec’s ring, M+A.

“You went to New York months before… that night,” Magnus said, looking up at Alec as his heart pounded in his tight chest, seeing that Alec was just as overcome as he was.

“I was so nervous about the change it would mean, it took me a long time… too much time to work up the courage to give this to you,” Alec said, taking his ring from Magnus and handing the ring he had intended for Magnus back to him, A+M engraved into Magnus’ ring.

“I was going to ask you to marry me, this was another promise, to be yours for the rest of our lives,” Alec said, indicating his own ring. “And I had hoped that you would wear that one as a promise to be mine,” he said, indicating Magnus’ ring.

“I would have said yes,” Magnus whispered, unable to speak any louder as emotion choked his voice. He felt a tear fall, a tear for what they could have had if they hadn’t been so stupid and stubborn and scared as he clutched the ring tightly in his hand. He also saw the tear Alec quickly wiped from his own face.

“I had worked up the courage to tell my parents,” Alec said when he could speak, slipping his ring back on as he remembered how he had practised his coming out speech for hours, pacing his bedroom as he had tried to find the words then commit them to memory. 

“And then they sprung the wedding on me and all that courage disappeared, gone with a few words about family duty,” Alec said, cursing himself for not telling them then and there, wishing that he had already asked Magnus. Maybe if he had already been engaged, he would have had the strength to say no, maybe his parents wouldn’t have even made their plans. 

“As soon as they announced their intentions, every fear came rushing back, that I would disappoint them, that they would hate me for what I was and I just… caved,” Alec said, looking down at the rings.

“When I left for New York, I put mine on and put yours on this chain. I just couldn’t get rid of them, I’ve worn them ever since,” Alec said, a tight smile ghosting his lips to hide the pain in his gut. He reached up and brushed a tear from Magnus’ face, sweeping his thumb over Magnus’ cheek. “If only I had asked you when I brought the rings, we wouldn’t have found ourselves in this mess.”

“We’ve been such fools, Alexander,” Magnus said, turning his head to press his lips to Alec’s palm, his eyes closing at the familiar skin beneath his lips. “All those times we said it was us against them, that we wouldn’t let them win. And then we did, we just gave up on us,” he said, looking up into Alec’s eyes.

“I gave up on myself, on ever being happy,” Alec said, brushing his thumb over Magus’ bottom lip, his breath coming faster when Magnus kissed the pad of his thumb. He couldn’t stop himself from remembering the thousand times he had kissed those lips. 

“I gave up on ever having what I wanted, and the last remnants of courage to go for it,” Alec said, looking into his eyes when Magnus did it again, pouting his lips out to brush against his thumb.

“Are you still afraid to go for what you want, Alexander?” Magnus whispered, watching Alec watch his lips, watching as Alec’s tongue darted out, licking across his plump bottom lip. 

“Did you find that courage while you were in New York? The courage to take what you want?” Magnus asked, his eyes darting between Alec’s, searching them for the answer to his questions.

Alec stopped thinking, the move purely instinctual when his hand swept around Magnus’ neck to push into the spikes of hair at the back of his head. He pulled Magnus closer, slowly, giving him the chance to pull back, and leaned the last few inches when he didn’t. 

If Magnus thought it would be a soft brushing of Alec’s lips against his own, he couldn’t be more wrong. There was nothing soft about Alec’s kiss, it was hard and breathtaking, a kiss that clearly spoke of desperation and a thousand missed opportunities. He cupped Alec’s jaw, pulling him closer as his own need reared up, pushing him to deepen it.

Alec dragged shallow breaths in through his nose, a flick of his thumb tilting Magnus’ head, to gain better access to Magnus’ lips. The hand on his jaw, pulling him closer, Magnus’ equally shallow breathing only spurred him on, his tongue darting out to flick against Magnus’ bottom lip.

Magnus opened up instantly, granting Alec entry as his heart pounded in his head, cutting out every sound but him and Alec. There was no fight for dominance, no awkward clashing of teeth or bitten lips, it was as natural as breathing for both of them as Alec’s tongue sought his own out.

The kiss was everything Alec had been missing, craving for months. The familiar sweeping brush Magnus’ thumb at his jaw, the scratch of his goatee against his lips and chin, his intoxicating sandalwood/Magnus scent sinking into him, it was… everything.

Magnus almost let a groan escape him when Alec pulled back to breathe, wondering if he really needed oxygen as he chased the kiss. One look into Alec’s lust blown pupils, swallowing the hazel of his irises had him pulling Alec back in, longing to feel his lips against his own again. 

Desperation to feel Alec’s long lashes skim his cheek and hear the breathless noises that escaped him when they kissed had Magnus’ hand pushing into Alec’s hair to hold him closer. He needed it more than he needed air, needed the connection that they had shared for so long and gone far too long without.

Alec willingly went when Magnus tugged at his hair, unable, and, if he was honest with himself, unwilling to stop his arm from snaking around Magnus’ back to pull his body to him, chest to chest, ignoring the knees in their way. 

Alec couldn’t find it in him to care about Magnus’ knee digging into his thigh, only pushing him to hold Magnus closer, it meant he was there with him, in the flesh when all he had had was memories for so long.

Magnus’ had to break the kiss when his head started spinning, the lack of air in his straining lungs and the blood pounding through his head forcing him to pull back. He pressed his forehead to Alec’s, both of them breathing hard.

“Magnus… I…” Alec rasped out, uncaring of the gravelly tone to his voice when Magnus’ skin was pressed to his own. He opened his eyes, seeing that Magnus was just as affected as him in the dim torchlight from his forgotten phone.

“I know I have no right to ask but I have to, I could never forgive myself if I didn’t,” Alec said, pulling back slightly but refusing to let go, to look Magnus in the eye, taking the chance when Magnus didn’t shut him down.

“Will you give me another chance? I know that we can’t just go back to how things were, that it will take time for you to regain the trust you had in me, but will you give me the chance to prove to you that I’ve changed?” Alec asked, almost rushing the words out in case Magnus cut him off.

Magnus reached up to hold the hand cupped to his face, breathing harder than he had when they had kissed as fifty different emotions pulled him in fifty different directions. What if he said yes and it didn’t work? What if it did? Could he let Alec in again, and risk his heart being ripped out once more? Could he let Alec go as a new fear rose up? the fear of losing Alec once more.

That he was still deeply in love with Alec wasn’t in doubt, even after a year apart and everything that had happened, as much as he had tried to convince himself otherwise, he knew he would never stop loving Alec. His stomach dropped when his finger brushed the ring on Alec’s finger.

“I… understand,” Alec said when he saw the look of panic on Magnus’ face, forcing his tone to come out light, not wanting to make Magnus feel bad for his decision and failing miserably. He was devastated and it showed, even he winced at the pain in his voice. He made to pull his hand back before he stopped himself, realising that he was giving up again.

“Actually, I don’t. I understand that you are still hurting, Magnus, I am too. But I never stopped loving you, I wouldn’t even know how to. You are my life, and if the last year proves anything, it is that I can’t live without you. I am so far past miserable without you it's unreal,” Alec said, not giving a single fuck about the raw emotion in his tone.

“Alexander…”

“No, I threw my chance with you away once, I can’t do it again. I need to fight for us, Magnus, and I need you to fight for us too,” Alec interjected, seeing the panic on Magnus’ face grow as his eyes darted around, tugging at his hand. He was nothing if not stubborn though.

“Alexander, It’s not…”

“We’ve been through so much together, the history we share, we can’t just give up on it Magnus,” Alec said, breathing hard as Magnus tugged at his hand again. “We can’t throw what we had away again, not when we can take the chance to be happy…”

“Alec!” Magnus yelled, cutting Alec’s words shorts, feeling awful when he saw the hurt on Alec’s face. He clamped his hand over Alec’s mouth when he opened it to speak once more. “Alexander, I lost the ring,” he said, panic rising once more as he let go of Alec’s mouth.

Realising that he had dropped the ring Alec had intended to give him had made Magnus’ decision for him. The thought of it being gone, the thought of Alec being gone from his life again had him panicking like nothing else.

Magnus snatched up Alec’s forgotten phone up in the darkness, night having fully fallen. He pulled Alec’s jacket away from them to search the ground for it, cursing the tiny beam of light from the torch on the phone. He didn’t bat an eyelid when Alec’s hand reached into his pocket.

Alec pulled Magnus’ phone out of his jacket pocket, the same place he always kept it and unlocked it. He barely registered that his birthday was still Magnus’ pin code, too busy staring at the photo of them to think about what his fingers were doing.

Alec switched the torch on, on Magnus’ phone and helped him look, scrabbling through the dirt to look for the ring. He found the chain after a moment, his breath catching when Magnus let out a strangled noise.

“I found it!” Magnus almost yelped, snatching the ring up out of the dirt when the torchlight landed on it. He shone the light on the ring, just to be sure and let out a deep sigh of relief when he saw the little A+M engraved on the inside of it. He sagged into Alec’s embrace when long arms wrapped around him.

“I thought it was gone,” Magnus said, wrapping his arms around Alec’s waist and pushing his face into Alec’s shoulder, feeling his heart rate start to settle as his panic abated. He pulled his head away from Alec’s shoulder to look at him, seeing the hope plain on his face.

“This year has been one of the worst… no, The worst of my life. I love New York but I was just existing, it meant nothing without you, Alexander,” Magnus said, his hand tightening around the ring as he pulled his arms away from Alec’s body. 

“I want us to try again,” Magnus said, taking the chain from Alec’s shaking hands and slipping the ring back onto it. “I don’t know if I’m ready to wear this yet, we still have a lot to talk about, but I’ll keep it right here. You can ask me properly when I’m ready... if you still want to, okay?” he said, placing it around his own neck when Alec nodded.

“I understand, we can go as slow as you need, I’m not going anywhere,” Alec said, shaking his head with a small smile when he realised he was sitting under their tree, saying the words they had both said so many times. “Magnus, I…” He opened his mouth again before the words died on his lips.

“You can say it,” Magnus said, knowing what Alec was about to say, he had heard that slight inflexion in Alec’s voice too many times not too. A small smile played at the corners of his mouth when he saw the blush in the dim torchlight of their phones.

“I love you, Magnus,” Alec said, his stomach fluttering as he said the words, as it always did when he told Magnus how he felt. He couldn’t help the grin spreading across his face when Magnus’ arms came around his neck.

“I love you too,” Magnus said, feeling the truth of the words in the pit of his stomach. No matter what had changed over the last year, that hadn’t. He knelt up, ignoring the hard ground under his knees to press his lips to Alec’s, sighing into the kiss that had always felt like home and surprisingly enough, still did, he found.

Alec let his fingers play in the material of Magnus’ jacket, at the small of his back as he nosed Magnus’ face up, getting better access to his lips. He knew they still had a lot to talk about, a lot to work through but they had been through so much, he knew they could get through this too.

Magnus jumped when he felt a vibrating in his hand before he realised he was still clutching Alec’s phone. He handed it over, his hand coming up to brush his thumb across his bottom lip as he watched Alec’s face fall. He was about to ask what was wrong when Alec opened his mouth to speak.

“It’s a text from Jace, asking where we are… if we left without saying anything,” Alec said, feeling bad, Jace didn't need to be worrying about them on his big day. As much as he would have preferred to stay right there with Magnus, he hauled himself to his feet, helping Magnus stand up.

“We should get back,” Magnus said, wanting nothing more than to spend a bit more time alone with Alec. He knew that they had probably been gone too long though so he scooped up Alec’s jacket and handed it over.

“Come on,” Alec said when as he shrugged his jacket on. He took Magnus’ hand, glancing left to see if he was okay with it and smiled when Magnus squeezed his hand before interlocking their fingers. He used the torch on his phone to light their way, not needing it to find the hotel but using it to stop from tripping over anything.

Magnus followed the sounds of the party, getting louder the closer they got. He shook his head when Alec helped him over the wall, not entirely opposed to the hands at his waist before taking Alec’s hand again to cross the lawns, grinning when he saw the massive grin on Alec’s face in the light from the hotel.

Magnus was so caught up in looking at Alec that he failed to notice the couple standing on the patio until it was too late. He knew Alec hadn’t noticed either when he felt Alec jump as Maryse’ voice washed over them, her tone as furious as the look on her face when he looked up to see her staring at their joined hands.

“What the hell is going on here?” Maryse asked, shaking off Robert’s hand when he tried to stop her from taking a step forward. “Why are they holding hands?” she asked him, gesturing to Alec and Magnus, seeing it dawn on Robert that their son was holding hands with Magnus.

“That’s a good question. What is going on?” Robert asked, determined to get to the bottom of it as he stepped forward to join his wife, staring at his son and Magnus. “well?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah shit!
> 
> That kiss though. What are your thoughts? too soon? too late?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moooood!

  
  


Magnus made to pull his hand from Alec’s, out of habit, his heart pounding when he saw the look on Maryse’ face, the matching look on Robert’s. He dragged his gaze away from them to look at Alec when he didn’t let go. When Alec held on tighter.

 

Alec squeezed Magnus’ hand, grasping it tighter as he looked first his mom and then his dad in the eye, refusing to cower under their gazes. He hadn’t been lying when he had told Magnus that he had changed.

 

“I’m holding his hand because I love him and for some reason that is beyond me, he has agreed to give my sorry ass another chance,” Alec said, staring them down to say the words that he had waited years to be able to say. “I’m gay, by the way.”

 

Magnus almost snorted at the casual way Alec had said it, as though he was commenting on the weather. He would have if he wasn’t so shocked that Alec had finally come out and said it, had told his parents after all these years. He gripped Alec’s hand harder, squeezing as pride flooded him.

 

Alec had never felt so free in his life, like a crushing weight had been lifted off his chest. He waited for the fear and panic to rise up and try to make him take the words back but it didn’t, all he felt was relief.

 

“What do you mean you’re gay?” Maryse hissed, looking around the empty patio to see if there was anyone who could overhear his words before staring at her son again. “Stop this foolishness at once! Let go of his hand and get inside before someone sees,” she muttered, stepping forward to pull him away from Magnus.

 

“Before someone sees what? See’s me holding hands with my boyfriend? Let them look,” Alec said, shaking his head to stop his mom in her tracks. He may have been assuming when he called Magnus his boyfriend but Magnus didn’t stop him so he just stared her down.

 

“Boyfriend! Don’t be ridiculous, Alec,” Maryse said, irritated that Alec was talking nonsense. “Let go of his hand, now!” she said, her eyes darting from Alec to Magnus when they didn’t let go, watching them move closer. “Let go of him, Magnus,” she said.

 

“I can’t do that, Maryse,” Magnus said, doing his best to keep his tone civil when he really just wanted to tell her to go and fuck herself. He brushed his thumb over the back of Alec’s hand when he stiffened, Alec glaring at his mother when she tried to step forward again.

 

“Maryse,” Robert said, taking her wrist to stop her before turning to Alec and Magnus. “What do you mean, you’re gay? You don’t just wake up and decide to be gay,” he said, staring at them in confusion.

 

“I didn’t just decide anything, I’ve always been gay, I just never told you,” Alec said his tone dripping incredulity at his dad’s ridiculous statement. 

 

Alec looked up when he heard the double doors open to see Simon staring at them from the doorway, Simon’s eyes zeroing in on his and Magnus’ hands. He shook his head when Simon grinned before disappearing back through the doors.

 

“Is this some kind of joke? You are not gay,” Maryse gritted out, waiting for Alec to laugh and tell her they were playing some kind of trick on them. It was the most ridiculous joke she’d ever heard but that’s all it was, a joke.

 

“Of course it's not a joke, why do you think I didn’t marry Lydia?” Alec asked, staring at his mom and dad, they couldn’t be serious? He thought when he saw his dad agreeing with his mom. 

 

“I could never be with a girl. That stupid wedding wrecked everything between Magnus and I. do you have any idea what kind of damage it caused?” Alec asked them.

 

“Damage? You’re talking to us of damage? Do you realise what you did to this family's reputation by going back on your word?” Maryse breathed, furious that he would bring the wedding up at a time like this. 

 

Maryse spun on the spot when she heard an angry hiss behind her, seeing Izzy and Jace along with Clary and Simon, all standing staring at them. “This doesn’t concern any of you, get back inside, now!”

 

“Don’t you mean when he went back on your word?” Izzy asked, glaring at her mom when Maryse turned to her, ignoring the command she had given, to join Alec and Magnus. “You never even gave him a choice, either of you. You just expected him to go along with your plan.” 

 

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course he had a choice,” Maryse said, arching her eyebrow at her willful daughter.

 

“Did he? Did you ever ask him what he wanted?” Izzy retorted, staring just as hard at her deluded mother. “Did either of you ask Alec or Lydia what they wanted?” she asked, turning on her dad.

 

“Why are we even discussing this? Your brother wanted to do his duty by his family, Isabelle,” Robert said, in no mood for Izzy’s histrionics. “Alec has always done what was right for this family. It was his duty, a concept you fail to grasp. He should have stood by his choice” he said.

 

“You never gave me a choice, if you had, I would have chosen Magnus, every time,” Alec said, pulling Izzy to his side when she turned on their dad again. “Your decision ruined my life and took away the only chance for happiness I ever had,” he said to both of them.

 

“What are you talking about? You would have been happy with Lydia,” Maryse insisted, glaring at Magnus when he snorted. 

 

“What is so funny?” Maryse asked Magnus, her eyes once again darting to his hand, still holding Alec’s. The sight had her narrowing her eyes at them.

 

“The fact that you think Alexander could be happy with her, with any woman,” Magnus said, forgetting that he was supposed to be holding his tongue. He glanced at Alec, an apology on the tip of his tongue before Alec shook his head.

 

“That wedding wrecked our relationship, it was the reason Magnus left me and I can’t say I blame him,” Alec said, breathing hard as anger crashed through him. 

 

“Luckily, Magnus has agreed to give our relationship another chance,” Alec said, smiling when Jace, Clary and Simon all stepped forward to congratulate them. He refused to break his hold on Magnus’ hand, giving them all one-armed hugs, Magnus doing the same.

 

“What relationship?” Maryse yelled, glaring at her traitorous children and their partners for encouraging Alec’s foolishness.

 

“Magnus and I have been together for fifteen years, mom,” Alec said, rolling his eyes at his parents when they gaped at him. How could they be so blind? He wondered. Even if they had hidden their relationship, how many 22-year-olds had regular “sleepovers” with their friends?

 

“None of you look shocked, did you all know about this?” Robert asked when he saw the proud grins on Jace and Izzy’s faces, the same look on Simon and Clary’s. “Does anyone else know?” he asked when they all nodded.

 

“Why? Are you scared of what people will say?” Jace asked, cutting Izzy off before she could say anything, staring his dad down, seeing the way he and Maryse were glancing around again. “Why do you even care? Isn’t Alec’s happiness more important than what the neighbours think?” he asked them.

 

“Happiness? How can he be happy with another man?” Maryse scoffed, glaring at Jace’s idiocy, it wasn’t about what other people thought of them. At all. 

 

“What kind of life could they have together? Magnus will only make your brother miserable,” Maryse said, glaring at Magnus.

 

Simon glanced at Clary, seeing his own shock and disbelief mirrored on her face. They had both seen just how happy Magnus and Alec made each other, both witnessed practically the entirety of their relationship first hand and Maryse’ words couldn’t be further from the truth. 

 

Clary wanted to say something, to defend Magnus and Alec but the shake of Simon’s head stopped her, it wasn’t their place so she stayed silent, simply taking Magnus’ free hand, the one Alec wasn’t holding while Simon placed his hand on Alec’s shoulder, showing Maryse and Robert a united front.

 

“Are you serious? He is the only person who has ever made me happy,” Alec said, ignoring the huffs of his siblings, they knew what he meant. “He accepted me, accepted everything about me and actually put my needs first, which is more than could be said for either of you. This is exactly why I was too scared to tell either of you. Because I knew you would react like this.”

 

“React like what? Like you’re throwing your life away, for some boy,” Maryse said, staring incredulously at her son, refusing to even look at Magnus. “This is just some ridiculous phase you’re going through, a fling. You’ll get bored of each other soon enough then what will you do? Do you want to completely decimate your reputation?” she asked Alec.

 

“A phase? A fling? You are joking, right?” Alec asked, staring at them, at both of them when his dad agreed with his mom. “We’ve been in love with each other since first grade, how is that a fling?” he asked, disbelieving of the fact that he had even needed to ask the question as he stared denial in the face.

 

“Don’t be so stupid, of course it’s a fling. You are just confused, Alec. He is your best friend, that’s all it is, you have grown close to each other over the years, its natural to grow attached,” Maryse said, her gaze shifting to Magnus when she saw the roll of his eyes from her peripheral. 

 

“What, you’re in love? You are both barely adults, neither of you knows the meaning of the word,” Maryse scoffed.

 

“Who are you to talk to us of love, Maryse Lightwood?” Magnus asked, turning on the infuriating woman, unable to hold his anger in check any longer. He ignored Izzy and Jace’s stares, squeezing back when Alec and Clary tightened their grips.

 

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Maryse asked, taking Roberts arm when he opened his mouth, wanting to hear what Magnus had to say for himself.

 

“You have the nerve to lecture us about love when you practically pimped your son out for a piece of land, is that your idea of what love is? You talk of how miserable I’ll make him when that is all you’ve ever done,” Magnus said, refusing to bend under the weight of her withering glare or the affronted look on Robert’s face.

 

“How dare you talk to my wife like that? You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Robert said, his fury evident in his tone as he glared at Magnus.

 

“I was talking to both of you,” Magnus said, turning on Robert, just as angry with him as he was with Maryse, they had both ruined his relationship with their plan. “I don’t know what I’m talking about? Please, you sold your son to the highest bidder, treat him like some sort of commodity to be pawned off for a deal,” he said, glaring at them.

 

“We did no such thing,” Maryse said, staring at Magnus, he had never spoken to them like that. “We let you into our home, treat you like family and this is how you repay us? By speaking to us like this? Who do you think you are to discuss our family’s personal business? It is none of your concern what…”

 

“Don’t speak to him like that,” Alec shouted, rounding on his mom and aiming a glare at his dad for good measure. “He is my family, who do you think I turned to every time I was frightened or lonely or upset? Who do you think has loved me unconditionally, practically my whole life? It certainly wasn’t either of you,” he said furiously.

 

“What are you talking about? Of course we love you unconditionally,” Robert said, wondering where the statement had even come from.

 

“Oh yeah, as long as I do and act however you want me to. As long as I follow your orders, marry the woman you choose for me and give up my life with the man I love so you can put your best face on for the town, then you love me unconditionally,” Alec said, years of anger and resentment coursing through him.

 

“That is not true,” Maryse said, bewildered that he would think such a thing. “We love you, we just want what is best for you and it is not that man. It has nothing to do with our reputation.”

 

“Neither of you give a shit about Alexander or what he wants, too blind to even see the man he has become. You won’t even listen to him, to what he thinks is best for him,” Magnus said, incredulity lacing his words at her bare faced lie. 

 

“Like you even know what that is? You’re not his family, you don’t know what is best for him,” Mayse said, glaring at Magnus with pursed lips. “I think we’ve all heard enough from you.” 

 

“Oh no, I’ve only just begun,” Magnus said, hissing his words out at the way she had said “you” like he was beneath her. “What’s the matter, Maryse, am I not good enough for your son? Because I’m a man? Are you scared you will lose all of your friends because Alexander is gay? Because he has a boyfriend and not the perfect little wife they all approve of?” he asked.

 

“It has nothing to do with that,” Robert said, coming to his wife’s defence. “We only want our son to be happy and I don’t appreciate your accusations,” he said, glaring at Magnus.

 

“Oh please, you’re the worst kind of hypocrites, at least the rest of the town has the nerve to insult us to our faces,” Magnus said, staring right back when Robert stared at him. “you tried to kick him out when he wouldn’t do as he was told and you sweep his sexuality under the rug like pretending it’s not true makes it so,” he said, rolling his eyes at their ignorance.

 

“Are you going to let him speak to us like that?” Maryse asked Alec, looking at Izzy and Jace too, neither of them moving to defend her or their father.

 

“First of all, I don’t “let” Magnus do anything, no one does,” Alec said, smiling his thanks when his brother and sister moved to stand closer to him and Magnus before turning back to his mom. “And second, everything he said is true, you’re acting like you can talk me out of being who I am,” he said.

 

“Why can’t you see that we just want you to be happy?” Robert asked, reaching out for Maryse when she started pacing. “This life you are choosing, you are setting yourself up for misery, they will never accept you. Why are you choosing…?”

 

“Why did you choose to be straight?” Alec interjected, cutting his dad’s ignorance off with the question.

 

“What do you mean, why did I choose to be straight? I didn’t choose to be straight, it’s who I am,” Robert said, staring at his son. His eyes darted to Magnus, frowning at the grin Magnus tried to hide behind his hand.

 

“Exactly! You’re acting like I’m choosing to be who I am, like it’s a choice to be attracted to a man or a woman. I am gay, I like men, this one in particular,” Alec said, holding up his and Magnus’ joined hands. “I am not attracted to women, never have been,” he said, shaking his head at the look of incomprehension on his parent's faces.

 

“I’ve spent my entire life hiding who I am because I was too scared of what other people thought, of not being accepted,” Alec said, with a sad shake of his head. “It cost me the most important person in my life. Thankfully, he is willing to give me another chance, to make up for what I did... what we did,” he said, staring pointedly at his parents.

 

“What do you mean, what we did?” Robert asked, looking around at them all when they let out irritated huffs, all of them glaring at him.

 

“I broke his heart by going along with your stupid plan,” Alec said incredulously, staring at his parents when they looked mystified. “We’ve been through so much together, we had a future and plans, we had made promises to each other, promises I threw away for your acceptance. I drove him away for it,” he said.

 

“But I would choose Magnus over all the acceptance in the world, as long as he accepts me, that’s all that matters,” Alec said, pulling their joined hands up and brushing his lips over Magnus’ knuckles when he looked into Magnus’ eyes and saw the pride there.

 

“You are choosing a life of misery…”

 

“You keep saying that you want me to be happy, what makes you think I won't be?” Alec asked, cutting his mom off. “Magnus makes me happy, he is my life, he is all I’ve ever wanted. What makes you think I’ll be miserable with him?” he asked.

 

“This lifestyle… people will make your life a misery, they won’t understand,” Robert said, looking from Alec to Magnus and back again. Why can’t they see? He wondered to himself.

 

“It’s you who doesn’t understand, not everyone is as ignorant as you,” Alec said in a huff, exasperation at his parents winning out over anger. “There is more to life than this small town and the opinions of the people in it. It’s different in New York, you can actually walk down the street without everyone judging you,” he said.

 

“So you’re just going to run off to New York again?” Maryse asked, starting to pace again. “You’re just going to run away instead of staying here and facing your problems? You aren’t even going to try and fix this mess?” she asked.

 

“My life is in New York, our lives are in New York,” Alec said, smiling when Magnus gave his hand a small squeeze. “You can’t seriously expect me to stay here and be miserable with these people? They are the ones that can’t accept people like me and Magnus” he said.

 

“That’s not what she means, is it? You’re unbelievable!” Izzy said, staring at her mom when she saw the shifty look on her face. 

 

“You still think he can fix things with the Branwell’s, that he can go and grovel for Lydia’s hand. Don’t you?” Izzy asked her mom, turning to her dad and seeing that it was what he wanted too.

 

“Alec, you could be happy here, have the life that you always wanted, a successful business and a family of your own, children…” Maryse trailed off when she saw the looks on her children’s faces, on Clary, Simon and Magnus’ faces.

 

“Magnus is my life, he is my family and one day he will be the father of my children,” Alec said, ignoring the fact that they had only just gotten back together and that they hadn’t discussed their future yet.

 

“Your whole life is here, Alec,” Maryse insisted, stubbornly ignoring Alec’s words, trying to make him see sense. “Not all marriages are based on love. Lydia is a nice person, someone you can make a life with. You will forget all about this nonsense and learn to love her.”

 

“You don’t get it, do you? Either of you,” Alec shouted, unable to hold his anger back any longer. He didn’t give a shit about the twin glares they aimed at him. “That is the life you wanted for me, I never chose it and I never will. I already have a life, a future with Magnus. I love him and that is not going to change,” he said, wanting to pull his hair out, she wasn’t listening to a word he said.

 

“So you’re just going to choose him over your family and home?” Maryse asked, folding her arms over her chest to stare Alec down.

 

“He shouldn’t have to choose,” Izzy said when she saw Alec give up. Her parents were too stubborn and stuck in their ways to listen. “You said you loved him unconditionally yet you try to make him choose between you and Magnus?” 

 

“Alec?” Robert asked, taking his wife's hand and ignoring his daughter’s outburst. He felt his stomach drop when Alec just shook his head and turned away from them, turned to Magnus, clearly choosing him. “Maybe it’s best if you just leave, both of you,” he said.

 

“No, I think it’s best if you both leave, he isn’t going anywhere, neither of them are,” Jace said, looking his dad in the eye when he turned to stare at him. He entwined their fingers when Clary took his hand, seeing her agree with him.

 

“Us? He is the one…” Maryse cut off when Jace and Izzy glared at her, Alec refusing to even look her in the eye.

 

“Jace, you don’t have to do that, we can go,” Alec said, looking into his brother’s eyes, he didn’t want to split his family apart. He saw Clary shaking her head, daring him to try and leave. He looked at Izzy and Simon, seeing them both glaring at Robert and Maryse.

 

“Neither of you is leaving, you are our family,” Clary said, taking Alec and Magnus’ hands and giving them a squeeze each, ignoring the noises Maryse was making. 

 

“Please leave, you aren’t welcome here anymore,” Clary said, turning to Robert and Maryse. It wasn’t the way she had intended to start off with her in-laws but Alec and Magnus were her brothers in all but blood and the way Robert and Maryse were treating them wasn’t right.

 

“You are all going to take their side?” Maryse asked, even looking at Simon, seeing the shake of his head. She looked up when she felt a hand tugging at her arm, Robert pulling her away.

 

Alec watched his parents go, walking through the double doors to the hotel without a backwards glance. He felt awful, turning back to Jace to apologise.

 

“Don’t even think about it, they deserved it,” Jace said, cutting his brother off before Alec could apologize. “It’s their problem, you have nothing to apologize for,” he said, pulling Alec into a back-slapping hug before doing the same with Magnus.

 

“I’m so happy for you both,” Izzy said, shoving Alec and Jace out of the way to wrap her arms around Magnus’ neck, pulling him into a tight embrace, grinning when he hugged her back just as tightly.

 

“Thank you, Isabelle, just don’t start dancing,” Magnus said when Izzy released him, chuckling at the look on her face as everyone let out shaky laughs.

 

“But I’ve been practising my “my brothers have finally stopped acting like idiots and gotten their shit together” dance for like, a year,” Izzy said with a threatening shimmy of her hips. She rolled her eyes when Simon pulled her away.

 

“Come on, let’s go and see if anyone else wants to join Robert and Maryse,” Clary said, relishing the prospect of getting rid of some of their more obnoxious guests.

 

“We’ll be there in a minute, biscuit,” Magnus said, smiling when Clary promised to save him a dance. He watched them all go back inside before turning to Alec. 

 

“I’m sorry your mom and dad acted like that but I’m so proud of you, Alexander,” Magnus said, his arms encircling Alec’s neck. He stood up on his toes to kiss every inch of Alec’s face he could reach, his cheeks, forehead, nose dimple, something he had missed more than he was willing to admit.

 

“It was the reaction I was expecting, the reaction I was so scared of, for so long,” Alec said, pulling Magnus closer and wrapping his arms around Magnus’ waist. “But it feels so good to finally have it all out in the open. I couldn’t have gotten through it without you,” he said.

 

“I told you, I’m not going anywhere,” Magnus grinned, pouting his lips out when Alec bent his head to kiss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bye bitches! ha, suck it Robert and Maryse!


	8. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, it's that time folks, the end of another one. *tears* I hope you all enjoyed this one, thank you for reading it and for all of the amazing Twitter interactions, comments and kudos, it was a journey!!!
> 
> I want to say a massive thank you to Sydney for letting me write it *fangirling*
> 
> ***announcement***
> 
> If you follow me on Twitter, you will have seen a post recently about the next fic on the list *screaming with excitement*  
> I'll start posting, The Fall, next week. Omega Demon Magnus, Alpha Angel Alec! it's an A/B/O wing fic based on the Fallen series by Lauren Kate so subscribe so that you don't miss out, trust me, you won't want to miss this!
> 
> Once again, thanks for reading and please enjoy the fluff, all the love, Maria xx

  
  


8 months later…

  
  


Magnus blinked his eyes open, squinting for a moment in the sunlight that poured through the windows of their bedroom at the loft. He reached out, as he always did, before he was fully awake, reaching for Alec.

The feeling of warm skin beneath his fingers had Magnus rolling onto his side, propping his head on his hand to watch Alec sleep, grinning at the soft snores, the soft rise and fall of Alec’s chest as he breathed deep.

He wondered if he would ever truly get used to the sight of waking up next to Alec every morning, even after 8 months of being back together, 2 months of living in Alec’s… their loft, it was still his favourite part of the day. He was so engrossed in inspecting every visible inch that wasn’t covered in the golden sheets, that he missed when Alec’s snores stopped.

“Are you watching me sleep again, Magnus?” Alec asked, not needing to open his eyes to know that that was exactly what Magnus was doing, he could feel Magnus’ eyes on him. He reached out, wrapping his arm around Magnus’ waist and pulled him in, folding the sheets over their heads.

“Good morning, Alexander,” Magnus chuckled, wrapping his arm around Alec’s shoulder when Alec’s head settled on his chest, twirling a few strands of Alec’s soft hair between his fingers.

“Good morning,” Alec mumbled into Magnus’ chest, his fingers unerringly finding the chain around Magnus’ neck. He fiddled with the ring that hung there, pushing his finger through the band of metal and rolling it across Magnus’ skin. He grinned when he felt Magnus’ lips in his hair.

Magnus grinned as he pressed his lips to Alec’s head again when he felt Alec playing with his ring, his stomach fluttering as it always did whenever he felt the skin warmed metal pressed to his skin. He rolled them over, laughing when Alec’s chest hair tickled his nose as he trailed kisses down the middle of his chest.

“You know, if you continue doing that, we’ll be late,” Alec said breathlessly when he felt Magnus’ fingers precede his lips, dancing across his abs and heading south. He groaned, wishing he had set an early alarm so they could continue... Magnus’ train of thought.

“But this is so much more fun than getting up, don’t you think?” Magnus asked between kisses, trailing his fingers over Alec’s hip and letting them linger at the sensitive spot there, grinning when he felt Alec’s full-on body shudder beneath him.

“Do you want… to explain to my… sister why we are… late?” Alec asked, uncaring of the husky tone of his voice or his heavy breathing as Magnus’ hand dipped lower. He wanted to punch himself in the face when Magnus’ fingers stilled.

“Maybe we could share a shower? We could save time and water,” Magnus said, looking up into Alec’s eyes, just able to make them out in the dim light under the sheets. He grinned when Alec tugged him up.

“So good of you, to think of the environment,” Alec murmured against Magnus’ lips before claiming them. He laughed when Magnus pulled back, muttering about morning breath. “I like your morning breath and your morning hair and your morning…” he grinned into the kiss when Magnus cut him off, feeling it press into his thigh.

“Come on, your sister will kill us if we’re late,” Magnus said when he regretfully broke the kiss. He tugged the sheets from over their heads, both of them blinking momentarily as they got used to the light again. He chuckled when he saw how big Alec’s pupils were before getting up and tugging Alec into the bathroom.

 

**

 

“We’ll just tell her there was traffic,” Magnus said, grinning at the blush on Alec’s face when they pulled up at the park in their hometown, their shower had taken longer than it should have. “Here, sign this, maybe Isabelle will forgive us if we give her another card,” he said handing the card he had bought and a pen to Alec.

“Good thinking, she’ll be too busy gushing over the honeymoon to tell us off,” Alec said, grinning as he switched the engine off and signed the congratulatory card, scrawling a quick signature under Magnus’ elegant writing. At least he didn’t need to add any soppy sentiments, Magnus had penned them a nice note, luckily, Magnus thought of everything.

“You know she’s going to make us look at all their photos, right?” Magnus asked as he shoved the pen in his pocket and tucked the card into the envelope, laughing at the bored expression he could already see forming on Alec’s face. “10 days in Bora Bora, you spoiled them,” he said fondly.

“They deserved it, Izzy never got the big wedding she wanted,” Alec said a little sadly, guilt welling up before he pushed it away to climb out of the car. Izzy had assured him that they didn’t blame him in the slightest, that they had the wedding that they wanted but he wasn’t totally convinced.

“They wanted to be independent,” Magnus said, raising his eyebrow at the guilty look on Alec’s face. “Your mom and dad offered to pay for it again and they still turned them down, it’s what they wanted, Alexander,” He said as he jumped down from the Escalade.

Magnus grabbed the container of potato salad and a large tray of sandwiches that was their contribution to the picnic they had arranged when Alec just nodded with a small smile. He took Alec’s hand when he joined him.

“I know, I just wish they had the big extravagant wedding Izzy planned when we were kids, ” Alec said, taking the sandwiches from Magnus to take his hand, shaking his head when Magnus pulled him across the grass towards their family. He grinned when he saw Max rushing towards them.

“She planned that when she was six, she hadn’t even met Simon yet, she grew out of it. Trust me, they loved their wedding. They are happy, okay?” Magnus asked, kissing Alec’s cheek when he just smiled before Max slammed into them. He pulled Max into a one-armed hug when Max let go of Alec. “Hey Maxie, how mad is your sister?”

“You’re in big trouble, we’ve been waiting for ages, Simon is distracting her though,” Max said, grinning at the worried looks on their faces, she wasn’t that mad. “Come on, we’re all starving,” he said, tugging Magnus towards the rest of their family.

“Are mom and dad here?” Alec asked looking around for them and breathing a sigh of relief when Max shook his head. It was going slowly but they had started building bridges with Maryse and Robert, deciding to forgive and educate them rather than hold a grudge, realising they would remain ignorant if they didn’t show them that two men could be happy together.

“No, they went out for dinner, it’s just us,” Max said over his shoulder, his stomach rumbling loudly. He grinned when they walked a bit faster. “I’ve been making them watch Queer Eye, I think it’s helping,” he said.

Magnus chuckled at the pride in Max’s voice, laughing when he saw Alec roll his eyes but laugh at his brother’s statement. He grinned when he followed Max across the park to see Izzy and Simon, Clary and Jace waiting for them on a large collection of blankets and pillows, deciding to shut Izzy’s tantrum down before it could get started with the only way he knew how.

“Hello Mr and Mrs Lewis, how was your honeymoon?” Magnus asked, handing Izzy the card and grinning when she took the bait, a huge grin on her face. He hid his own grin when the others started laughing, squeezing Alec’s hand when he felt the shake of his silent laughter.

“It was beautiful, thank you, both of you. Do you want to see the photos?” Izzy asked, pulling her brothers into a neck-breaking hug, knowing Magnus was trying to distract her from the fact that they were over an hour late.

“Maybe after we eat, I think Max is about to pass out,” Alec said, grinning at the look of dismay on Max’s face at the thought of delaying eating further to look at photos. He was pretty sure they would just be 100 photos of beaches and the two of them wrapped around each other, something he didn’t need to see.

“We’ve missed you!” Clary said, standing up to hug Magnus and Alec. “we’re all coming to New York next week, we don’t see enough of you,” She said, having to look away from Magnus to hide her grin.

“We saw you like two weeks ago, remember, when these two finally got hitched?” Alec asked, hugging Jace and Simon before taking a seat on the blankets, his eyes darting from Clary to Magnus to Izzy when he saw them grinning like idiots. He shrugged it off when Max started digging through the containers of food, slapping his hands away from a large platter of cakes.

“Two weeks is too long,” Izzy said, incredulity lacing her tone as she helped Clary uncover the food. She couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face when Magnus sat himself down between Alec’s legs and settled back into his chest.

“I’d have thought you two would have had better things to do on your honeymoon then miss us,” Magnus chuckled as he grabbed a couple of plates and started loading them up for him and Alec.

“We did,” Simon said, ducking his wife’s dig to the ribs as he wiggled his eyebrows, laughing at the scowl on Alec’s face and the teasing grin on Jace’s. He appeased Izzy by handing her a huge plateful of food, grinning when she started shovelling it down.

“You hungry Iz?” Alec asked when he saw his sister snarf her food down like one of them was going to take it from her, laughing when she looked up from her plate to see them all watching her.

“You took your time getting here, we’re all hungry,” Izzy said around a huge mouthful, exchanging a look with Simon before continuing to eat at a more sedate pace. “So why were you late?” she asked to shift the focus off of her.

“Do you really want to know?” Magnus asked, passing Alec a sandwich over his shoulder. He chose not to elaborate when Max looked up, seeing the knowing looks on the others faces. He sank into Alec’s chest again, smiling when Alec’s arm wrapped around his stomach.

“I think we can guess,” Jace said, slinging his arm around Clary’s shoulder when she started giggling. “So how is redecorating going?” He asked, smiling at Alec’s eye-roll.

“I can practically hear your eyes rolling, Alexander,” Magnus said. “We’re almost done, we have actual furniture now,” He chuckled, remembering the minimalist look to the loft when he had first moved in with Alec. It hadn’t taken him long to start fixing the place up.

“It’s certainly more colourful. You can see for yourselves next week,” Alec said, silently admitting that the loft looked much better since Magnus had moved in, he wasn’t exactly an interior designer and Magnus had added some nice touches. Magnus had even decorated the balcony, saying they needed somewhere nice to sit in the evenings.

“Yes, we have guest rooms set up for you all,” Magnus grinned when Alec squeezed him harder, tilting his head to the side when Alec kissed his neck.

“Ugh, you two are worse than Izzy and Simon,” Max said, rolling his eyes at Magnus and Alec’s PDA, why did they all have to continuously slobber all over each other? he wondered as he tried again for the cakes, grinning when Alec wasn’t fast enough and he snagged the biggest cupcake.

“Have mom and dad started pestering you guys for grandkids yet?” Alec asked when he followed Max’s lead and grabbed a cupcake, looking up in time to see Jace and Clary glance at each other, seeming to be having a silent conversation.

“No, but I’m sure they’ll start soon, my mom has already been on our case,” Clary said with a shake of her head, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips. “What about you, Iz, has Maryse been on your case?” she asked, laughing at the way Izzy choked on her second helping of pasta.

“No, not yet,” Simon said, slapping Izzy’s back as she glared at Clary, seeing the grin on Jace’s face. They had all decided to wait to share their news, in light of the reason for the picnic. He looked up at Magnus with a wink.

“Why are you all so weird?” Max asked, looking at all of his siblings, all of them sitting with shifty looks on their faces as they stared at Magnus. He looked up to see that Alec was just as mystified as he was.

“Do you want to come for a walk?” Magnus asked over his shoulder, taking the hint. He wanted to smack them all with the way they were staring at him with grins on their faces, rolling his eyes at their eager expressions.

“We only just got here,” Alec said, reaching for another sandwich. He looked at him when Magnus grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. “I guess we’ll see you all later?” he asked over his shoulder when Magnus pulled him away.

“I thought we could visit our tree while we’re here,” Magnus said, interlocking their fingers as they walked, his feet finding the way without needing to think about it. He felt his stomach flop, grinning when Alec still seemed none the wiser, happily following him along.

“Do you think we could dig it up and take it back to New York with us?” Alec asked, imagining them trying to get the tree in the elevator in their building with a grin. The smile widened when the tree loomed up before them.

“I don’t think it would fit on the balcony,” Magnus chuckled, brushing his fingers over the heart with their initials in it when they reached the tree, his stomach lurching once more. He turned in the cage of Alec’s arms when they came around his waist, pressing his lips to Alec’s nose dimple.

Alec frowned when Magnus unwound his arms and stepped back, watching as he reached up and pulled the chain from around his neck, handing it to him. He stared down at the chain in his hand, his stomach twisting before he looked back up at Magnus.

“Magnus… what…?” Alec asked, his chest tightening when Magnus took another step back. “But… everything is going so well… we moved in together… we’re happy, why are you giving me this?” He asked. Magnus had never taken it off since the night he had given it to him.

“Why do you think?” Magnus asked, shaking his head at the look of incomprehension on Alec’s face. And the scared expression there.

“Alexander…”

“Did I do something wrong? Did we move in too fast? Because we can slow things down if you’re not ready,” Alec said, panic rising up in him. He loved living with Magnus but they could slow things down if Magnus wasn’t ready. “Magnus, I love you, please put it back on.”

“Alexander…”

“I’m sorry we moved too fast but we can make it work,” Alec interjected, searching Magnus’ face when he saw Magnus’ mouth open. “Please, Magnus, I’m sorry I pushed,” He said, trying to push the chain back into Magnus’ hand, wondering where it had come from, he was sure they were happy.

“Alec!” Magnus said, clamping his hand over Alec’s mouth when he opened it again. “I told you I would give this back to you when I was ready to wear it properly. So shut up and propose to me already,” he said, chuckling when the look of hurt slid from Alec’s face to be replaced by one of wild hope.

“You’re ready? Right now? So I should just…?” Alec asked, the lead-like feeling in his stomach disappearing. It felt like his stomach was doing flips as his heart lurched in his chest, his panic abating to be replaced with a giddy excitement. He pulled Magnus to him, crushing Magnus to his body.

“I’m ready. Is this how you’re doing it?” Magnus gasped out as Alec squashed the air from his lungs. He might have been running over possible scenarios of how it would happen over the last few weeks, talking it through on the phone with Izzy and Clary. Having the life squeezed from him hadn’t been one of those scenarios though.

Alec let go of Magnus, his shaking hand diving into his back pocket to pull his wallet out. He ignored the blood pounding through his head as he fought the zip on the back compartment to pull his speech out.

“What is that?” Magnus asked, watching Alec wrestle what looked like a novel from his wallet. He thought he would melt when he saw how nervous Alec was, a furious blush on his face as he took deep breaths.

“This is my proposal, I’ve had it in here for like 2 years,” Alec muttered, shoving his wallet into his pocket to unfold his papers. He had written it out when he had bought their rings, spending hours and going through a binder’s worth of paper before he had gotten it right.

Magnus stared at the sheaf of papers, jerking in Alec’s shaking hands. He wondered how many times Alec had read through it when he saw how crumpled the papers were, unable to hide his smile when Alec started pacing, taking deep breaths. He couldn’t stop thinking about how adorable Alec was when he flapped.

“Magnus, I love you, you are my life,” Alec said, having to clear his throat to say the words he had practised so many times, desperate to get it right. He was so engrossed in the pieces of paper in his hands that he didn’t see the tree roots coming for his feet, sending his papers flying everywhere as he caught himself on the tree.

Magnus almost took pity on him when Alec dropped to the ground and started grabbing the papers up, blushing even harder, if that was possible. He stopped himself from helping when Alec grabbed the last piece of paper, clutching them in his hands before looking up.

“This wasn’t exactly what I had planned,” Alec said, letting out a deep breath before staring down at his speech, crumpled and covered in dirt. Maybe the words didn’t apply anymore, after all that they had been through.

Of course, he still loved Magnus more than the day he, Jace and Izzy had gone for a playdate at Clary’s house to find a new kid there, the new kid from next door who didn’t have a mom or dad and looked terrified of the world and meeting the new people in it.

Of course, he still loved Magnus more than the day they had started at big school and they had stayed glued to each other’s hips for their first day of first grade, not leaving each other’s sides, even to Queue up in the cafeteria or go to the bathroom.

Of course, he still loved Magnus more than when they had gone on their first field trip in third grade and had gotten lost from the rest of their class. Magnus had held his hand the entire time, both of them terrified until their teacher had found them waiting at the entrance to the museum.

Of course, he still loved Magnus more than the time he had to teach two of the kids from their sixth grade class why it was a bad idea to make racist comments about his boyfriend’s beautiful eyes.

He loved Magnus more than the first time they had gone to a party together and he had thrown up in the bushes outside. Magnus had given him his t-shirt to wear so his mom wouldn’t know that he had been drinking, even though they had broken her favourite vase stumbling through the house at 2 am.

He even loved Magnus more than when they had woken the next day with screaming hangovers and Maryse had made them both clean the entire house and wash the car to teach them a lesson about how 14 year-olds weren’t adults. Magnus had stayed right there with him, complaining the whole time but still sticking around.

He most definitely loved Magnus more than the day Jace and Simon had drawn all over his face with permanent marker and Magnus had drawn all over his own face with the pen when they couldn’t get it off.

Maybe he even loved Magnus more than the first time they had kissed under their tree and Izzy had caught them. He had almost had a heart attack when she had jumped out on them but it had been nothing compared to Magnus’ reaction, terrified for him that she would tell their mom.

He loved Magnus more than every time they had kissed, hours of slow soft kisses as they explored one another, fast heart-stopping kisses that took their breath away but were so addictive that they questioned whether they needed oxygen or their lungs at all.

He loved Magnus more than the time they had danced their first dance at prom, more than the first time they had fumbled through their  _ first  _ time, learning and laughing and having it end 10 minutes after it had begun. And all the times after when they knew each other's bodies and made it last for hours.

He still loved Magnus more than their first and their last fight, their first trip away where they were able to just be themselves, together, out in the open with nobody to judge them.

He loved Magnus more than every victory and celebration and heartbreak they had ever been through. Together. Always together, even when they were apart.

He even loved Magnus more for the year they had spent apart because that year had taught him what life without Magnus would be like. And he loved Magnus the most for forgiving him, for giving them another chance, a chance to get it right.

Alec loved Magnus more, as he stared up into his eyes, eyes watching his every move, eyes that swirled with memories of his own, than he ever thought possible. Maybe the words didn’t apply anymore, maybe they meant more now than they did two years ago. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to get them out though, so he did the next best thing.

“Magnus, do you still have that pen?” Alec asked, his tone gravelling out with the emotion that coursed through his veins. He took the pen from an extremely confused looking Magnus and set to work on the back of the cleanest looking sheet of paper he had, clutched in his sweaty palm.

Magnus took the piece of paper Alec handed him, searching his eyes before looking down at the paper when Alec nodded to him. His breath caught when he saw what Alec had done, his chest tightening as he stared at the words;

 

**_‘Magnus, I love you more than my own life, will you marry me?’_ **

 

**_Yes [ ]_ **

**_No [ ]_ **

**_I don’t know [ ]_ **

 

Magnus stared at the piece of paper, Alec might love him more than his own life but Alec’s life was his whole world. Hadn’t it always been? He asked himself, hadn’t Alec become his whole world when he had been a lonely, terrified 5-year-old with no real family and one friend to his name?

Hadn’t Alec become his world the first time Magnus had seen him? Alec walking into Clary’s house and staring at him with the most beautiful shade of pink on his cheeks, Alec sticking by his side as he introduced him to the people that would shape his life.

Hadn’t Alec become his world all over again when they had gone trick or treating when they were seven and Alec had rescued his bag of candy from the bigger kids that had tried to take it from him?

Hadn’t Alec become his world when they were nine? When they had spent their first summer at camp and he had to rescue Alec from the snake that had decided to take up residence in Alec’s shoes outside of their tent? He had been the one that had convinced Alec to start wearing shoes again after a week of walking around barefoot.

Hadn’t Alec become everything to him when Alec had broken his arm when they were twelve and he had sat with him in the busy ER all night, refusing to leave Alec’s side until he had his cast on, and the six weeks he had spent waiting on his boyfriend hand and foot?

Or the first time they had gone shopping to the mall three towns over, when they were fourteen and Alec had bought him the first scarf he had ever owned? The green silk scarf with a bold geometric pattern of interwoven gold lines on it, that he still owned.

Surely Alec had become everything to him when they had been two bumbling seventeen-year-olds who wanted to convey the love they desperately felt for each other in a physical way? Even if neither of them had a clue what they were doing and had had to learn together.

Alec had most definitely become the axis his world spun on when he had put makeup on for the first time. The way Alec had assured him he looked beautiful, had cupped his face and pressed kisses to every inch of it. He had known at that moment that he would marry this boy one day.

Almost every day of Magnus’ life had been filled with Alec, even the 347 of them that they had spent apart. Not one of those days had gone by when he hadn’t thought of Alec, with pain in his gut, yes, but also with a desperate longing in his heart.

Through every important event, each right of passage, each and every memory, one thing stuck out to Magnus, Alec and the love they shared. Each soft kiss, every gentle caress and whisper in the middle of the night when they had feared being caught but had feared being without each other more.

Every single memory came down to one thing for Magnus.

Alexander.

It wasn’t even a choice.

Magnus took the pen Alec was still holding out to him, reaching down to straighten the thin line Alec’s eyebrows had mashed into and pull Alec’s bottom lip from between his teeth before he put the pen to the piece of paper in his hand.

Alec looked up at Magnus, ignoring the small rocks that dug into his knee where he knelt in the dirt to take the piece of paper Magnus held out to him. He had to steel himself to look down at it, even if it had been Magnus’ idea for him to propose, taking a deep breath before he looked.

 

**_‘Magnus, I love you more than my own life, will you marry me?’_ **

 

**_Yes [✓]_ **

~~**_No [ ]_ ** ~~

~~**_I don’t know [ ]_ ** ~~

 

A relief beyond anything he had ever felt crashed through Alec as his eyes shot up from the piece of paper in his hand, to look up at Magnus, seeing him blinking down at him with a massive grin on his face.

“Yes?” Alec asked, almost snapping the chain in his shaking hands when Magnus nodded, in his hast to undo the clasp. He slid the silver band off it, taking Magnus left hand in his own and pushing it onto Magnus’ finger, grinning when he saw it there. He pressed his lips to the band, thinking how perfect it looked on Magnus’ finger after being worn around his neck for so long.

Magnus almost yanked Alec up by his face, laughing when Alec stood and swept him up, spinning them around in spite of the tree roots that surrounded them. “I love you,” He whispered against Alec’s lips.

“I love you too,” Alec said, gladly sinking into Magnus’ kiss, holding his future in his arms. His future looked beautiful, he thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Swoon* *Tears* *Swoon*
> 
> Ps, I might do a one-shot sequel to this for that important event, if I can find the time x

**Author's Note:**

> Big thank you to those who beta'd this for me, your input was invaluable <3<3<3


End file.
